This Loud Morning
by MissMicheleAgron
Summary: A story about Quinn and Rachel in New York for college based on David Cook's CD This Loud Morning
1. Circadian

**_Who's to say we'll make it through  
I'm starting to believe we think is never true  
Who's to say the rhymes beside your bed  
Will keep you warm when everything is getting colder  
And I'm just holding on until it's over_**

No matter what part of the state you're in or at what time of the day, New York in the fall is beautiful. It's definitely a lot colder than Lima in September, forty degrees colder in fact, but it's forty times more magical. As Rachel took her first steps into the main building of NYADA, she didn't know what she was getting herself into. She imagined stage-bright lighting, boys dressed as fabulously as Blaine or girls dressed as impeccably as herself, and randomly staged musical numbers around the room. Instead, she was greeted by a blue-green flouresent lighting, quietly mingling students dressed lazily in sweatpants and t-shirts, and laptops buzzing with techno music. Rachel silently hid the pink boom box she was carrying in her purse; she suddenly felt overdressed and self-conscience in the presence of talent that could possibly be greater than hers. The students sitting around the room glanced in her direction and either glanced away just as quickly or stared in disgust. Rachel avoided their eyes and made her way over to the table where an older woman with red hair sat under a sign that said "Dorm Room Assignments."

"Hello," Rachel said loudly, finding her confidence again "My name is Rachel Barbra Berry, musical theater major, and-"

The woman cut her off, and Rachel's confidence dropped once again. "The Rose Building," she pointed at a map at the end of the table "Room 363. Your class schedule will be on the desk in your room. Classes start tomorrow. Good luck."

Rachel shyly grabbed a map off the table and nodded a quick thank you to the woman. She left just as fast as she'd come in, hoping to not catch anymore unwanted glances on the way out. She tried to hold it together as she speedily walked to her new building, but she couldn't help but let out a few tears.

This was her dream. Now she was here, alone, and apparently unwanted, and she wondered why she wanted to be here in the first place. But then she remembered why she was there; she was there for Barbra, for all the little Jewish girls with big noses, and for herself. She was there to be a star.

* * *

Quinn intentionally walked on the side of the sidewalk with the most leaves, just to hear them crunch under her feet. She didn't know why she did it, or what it was about the sound but it made her feel nostalgic. Maybe it was just a rebellious habit, like when she used to step on leaves on the walk to church every Sunday morning as a child; she would have the dried pieces of leaves stuck to her socks the rest of the day. Her father would get angry and tell her not to step on the leaves again because going to church untidy "made god angry and made the angels sad."

What a joke, she thought. She couldn't for the life of her understand what would compel a person to participate in such a hypocritical religion. Yes, Quinn was Christian, but a liberal one. She loved god, but also believed he was a kind forgiving soul who would never get angry with a child for having dirty socks. Churches and men like Quinn's father used the bible and their hypocritical ways to manipulate innocent people; just like her father used her mother.

Quinn gritted her teeth, and not from the chilly breeze. That man made her unbelievably frustrated. How could someone be so hypocritical as to disown his teenage daughter for being pregnant while having an affair on his wife? It was none of her concern anymore, though. The human brain just amazed Quinn; it was the reason she decided to major in psychology.

She was, as she reminisced, walking to her first class ever at Yale- Human Sexuality. It was one of the requirements for her psychology degree, and it had no perquisite, so she chose to take the course in her first semester. It wasn't just because it was convenient, though; she found the whole idea compelling. Even when she was a young girl, Quinn wondered what attracted people to each other. When she was five she decided that people had big magnets inside of them, and those magnets pulled them together. Each magnet only worked with the magnet it was supposed to be with; if the magnets weren't supposed to be together then the magnetism just looked forced and awkward between the two people, like when two magnets try to be pushed together the wrong way. That was how her parents always looked in her eyes.

During all this daydreaming and theorizing, Quinn didn't realize that not only did she almost pass the building up entirely, but she was also late. She ran through the double doors and down the hallway to the room labeled HS101. She tried to sneak in as quietly as she possibly could, but fate was not on her side. The door slammed and she tripped over a chair, which scrapped across the floor with a dreadful noise. The whole class turned to stare, and Quinn turned red. The teacher looked on disapprovingly as Quinn shuffled to a seat whispering apologies to her classmates.

"Ms. Fabray?" the older gentleman called.

"Yes?" Quinn replied, ashamed.

"You are late." He said and crossed his arms.

"I know!" she said "I was just taking my time enjoying the weather as I walked! And I was just thinking about the leaves and my parents and magnets and…am I in trouble?"

"No," he said and stroked his beard in thought "but I'm intrigued. You'll have to tell me more about your interesting thoughts on the way to this class at a later date. But, for now I can't let you off the hook that easily, so let me ask you what I was asking the class before I was so rudely interrupted." Quinn blushed, and sat up straighter. "Ms. Fabray, what is love to you?"

* * *

_"Hi Quinn! It's Rachel! How are you?"_

Quinn smiled as she saw Rachel's name light up on her phone screen._ "I'm great now that I'm talking to you, how are you?"_

_":P"_

Quinn laughed at the awkward tongue face. _"Very descriptive, tell me more."_

_"I'm just stressed, that's all. School is really challenging for me."_

The blonde girl frowned, and quickly typed back _"But it's performing, there's nothing challenging about that for Rachel Barbra Berry!"_

Rachel smiled at this_ "It's good to know someone thinks so. How's school going for you?"_

_"Absolutely wonderful :)"_

_"Oh really? Do tell me more!"_ Though she was jealous of Quinn's luck in school so far, Rachel was also exceptionally grateful that one of them was enjoying their New York experience.

_"Well, I have awesome classes! Like my favorite right now- Human Sexuality- it's so interesting, and I showed up late on the first day but the teacher still loves me! He's really great :)"_

_"Haha, how'd you manage to show up late and still get the teacher to like you? Only Quinn Fabray, luckiest girl I know ;)"_

Quinn giggled and typed out an explanation to Rachel _"Well, when I came in he was asking the class what love was to them. And it just so happened that I was thinking of that while I was walking to the class and that's the reason I was late! So it worked out perfectly!"_

_"Wow. Yep, luckiest girl I know."_

_"I deserve a trophy."_ Quinn gloated.

_"Yes, you do. Listen, I've gotta go :("_

_"Aw, no longer luckiest girl on earth :("_

_"Talk soon?"_

_"Yes, by Rachel."_

_"Bye Quinn."_

* * *

"Step, ball, change. Step, ball, change. Pivot turn, pivot turn, jazz square, aaaaaaaaand JAZZ SLIDE!" the instructor yelled out over the pianist. "Come on, people! This is JAZZ! Let me see some JAZZ HANDS!" she said.

Rachel huffed "Excuse me Mrs. Del Rom, but I think I could demonstrate proper jazz hands if you'd like."

"No, Ms. Berry, I don't think we need your demonstration. In fact, you were one of the poor cases of jazz hands I was referring to."

Rachel gasped "I beg your pardon? I don't think you understand, I won my first dance competition at the age of three months to the song 'All That Jazz' and the entire choreography was structured around jazz hands and the true jazz concept."

Mrs. Del Rom took a step towards Rachel calmly. "Ms. Rachel Berry, and I don't dare say your middle name because I refuse to compare you to the great Barbra; you are out of line. One more outburst from you and you will be out of my class, out of this school, and so far away from Broadway that your dream's dreams will be broken. Do I make myself clear?"

Rachel gulped and nodded "Yes Ma'am."

The other kids in the auditorium laughed and mimicked her. "Kiss ass!" she heard one of them say under their breath, and she flipped around to see which student it was. She couldn't tell, because they were all mocking her.

Rachel choked back her tears for the remaining thirty minutes of the class, and then ran out of the room sobbing as soon as she was released. She reached into her purse to find her phone to call her dads, but she instead found a Metro pass.

Rachel smirked and wiped away some of the tears. "Maybe her luck's starting to rub off on me." Rachel said under her breath.

By the time she reached Yale it was midnight, and Rachel was afraid that Quinn would already be asleep; but she wasn't, and now Rachel was sure that some of Quinn's luck was rubbing off on her.

After three knocks on the door, a hazel eye peaked out from the other side. Quinn squealed and undid the chain on the door. Once it was fully open, Quinn grabbed Rachel around the waist and picked her up off the ground.

"I never realized how much I've missed you until now!" Quinn squealed.

"I've missed you too, Quinn." Rachel said through teary eyes.

Quinn set the smaller girl down, "Why are you crying?" she asked.

"I'm just…so happy to see you…and…I hate school!" Rachel broke down and threw herself around Quinn. The blonde shushed and coddled Rachel as she closed the door.

"Come here, sweetie." Quinn said guiding her to the bed and turning on a desk lamp.

"I don't want to wake up your roommate." Rachel said through sobs.

"Don't worry," Quinn chuckled "Angelina doesn't get home until about three o'clock in the morning usually. She's a bit of a party girl. But hey, when you look like Barbie and drink like a fish you gotta do what you gotta do."

Rachel sniffled and sat on the bed beside Quinn, putting her head on the taller girls shoulder.

"Quinn, I don't understand." Rachel said sadly "I was so good back in Lima, now I'm in New York and I'm nothing. It's like Talentception. What happened between then and now?"

Quinn laughed, "Talentception?" she said skeptically "Nothing happened between then and now, you're just psyching yourself out. You're the most talented person I've ever met, and I met Katy Perry."

Rachel's head shot up, "Do you really mean that?" she asked "Because I worship Katy Perry as an artist, don't put me at that level if you don't mean it, Quinn!"

Quinn giggled and kissed Rachel's temple "You're above Katy Perry in my book."

Rachel contently laid back on the bed and snuggled into Quinn's sheets, "When did you get so good at making me feel beautiful instead of making me feel worthless?"

Quinn thought about it, "When I just gave in to the magnets pull." She said.

"What?" Rachel asked tiredly as she closed her eyes.

"Nothing," Quinn said and joined her laying on the mattress, wrapping her arms around her "nothing at all Rach."

"Quinn?" Rachel asked sleepily.

"Yeah?" Quinn said equally as sleepy.

"I love you, best friend."

Quinn hesitated "I love you."

* * *

"Hey, lesbians! Wake up!"

Rachel groaned and rolled away from Quinn on the bed. "What time is it?" she asked groggily.

"Um, 10:32." The bubbly, unfamiliar voice said.

"No!" Rachel popped up out of the bed "I'm going to be late for my classes today! And all my teachers already hate me!"

"Do what Quinn does, just be late and the teacher will love you!" The voice said.

Quinn chuckled, laughter muffled by her face against the pillow "Shut up!"

"Excuse me, but who are you?" Rachel asked snottily to the voice coming from across the other side of the room. She hadn't yet seen the face the voice was coming from because her face was still hidden under the blankets.

"I should really be the one asking that, considering I live here and you're just a stranger in my roommates bed." She said.

"Hey!" Quinn said defensively and sat up "You bring people you just met home with you and I don't say a word!"

Rachel uncovered her face and gasped for air. Quinn wasn't kidding when she said her roommate looked like Barbie. She was beautiful, with tan flawless skin, silver-blue eyes, and natural bright blonde hair.

"Yeah," she said "and I brought another stranger home last night! I'm surprised we didn't wake you two up! He was sexy, a Channing Tatum looking mother fucker! And he was awesome with his-"

"Yeah, we get it." Rachel stopped her, and the tall blonde shot a cross look at her on the bed.

"You're sassy! Jesus, take a chill pill!" she said "If you weren't super-hot, I'd be totally kicking your ass right now!"

Rachel sighed and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"Quinn, how come you didn't tell me your girlfriend was so cute?" She asked.

"She's not my girlfriend. She's my friend from back in Ohio. We've just been through a lot together."

"Okay, well introduce us then!"

Quinn rolled her eyes and pointed to the blonde "Rach, this is Angelina but we just call her Angie. Angie, this is Rachel, and no, you can't call her Rach; only I call her Rach."

Rachel smiled at her best friend's possessiveness over the nickname and waved to Angelina.

"Is she going to be around often?" Angelina asked and Rachel nodded a yes in reply. "Are you straight?" the tall blonde asked. Rachel tilted her head inquisitively.

"Um, yes?" She said confused.

"Damn," Angelina said and shook her head "that's a shame. I really wanted to tap that."

She walked out of the room and Rachel gawked at her. Quinn took her pillow and chucked it down the hallway after her. The pillow was promptly thrown back into the room and Quinn chuckled.

"See you love birds later," Angelina said as she walked further away "I'm going to hit up brunch with Mr. Tatum from last night."

"Okay, see ya!" Quinn said.

"Nice to meet you!" Rachel yelled to her.

"Oh no Rachel," Angelina yelled back "it was all my pleasure, trust me."

Quinn rolled her eyes and flopped back on the bed. Rachel scooted to the blondes side and snuggled back in.

"I really should go back to school." She pouted.

"Do you have to?" Quinn wined, and Rachel nodded yes.

"Alright," Quinn said, defeated "let's get dressed. I'll take you out for coffee before you leave."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later the girls sat in a small café on the edge of the campus. Quinn said it was her favorite because it reminded her of the Lima Bean back home, and because it was located fairly close to the train station, so when she felt lonely she could go there and remember that Rachel was only a train ride away.

"It reminds me of the Lima Bean, too." Rachel said contently as she sipped her mug of steaming coffee. Quinn couldn't help but smile at the girl who was practically swimming in her over-sized Yale sweatshirt. Her long brown hair was tousled around her face and hanging over one shoulder; her brown eyes were glossy from lack of sleep, and Quinn could see she'd been biting her lip, out of stress probably, because her bottom lip was thicker than usual.

"You miss everyone too, don't you?" Quinn asked.

Rachel sighed "More than you could imagine. You were always very independent Miss Fabray. But I always need approval, and a hand to hold. Now that they're all gone I just feel empty inside."

Quinn looked at her apologetically for bringing it up "They aren't all gone, you know." The blonde said and reached across the table to grab the other girl's hand, "I'm still here."

"Oh, I know you are Quinn." Rachel said, squeezing Quinn's hand back. "It's just…different now. We're both so mature now. You're like my confidant. I can tell you anything and I do tell you everything. So I'm being completely honest when I tell you this, you aren't enough." Quinn cringed at the comment and Rachel backpedaled. "No no no! Not like that Quinn, you are perfect. It's just, I need other friends. You are my best friend. But I need more than just one best friend, I need to socialize! But everyone in my school…they all hate me. Do you know how many times I've been called a kiss ass or a diva or a psychopath?"

Quinn shook her head "Don't listen to them, Rachel! Prove them wrong! You are at NYADA for YOU, not for them. Don't let them control your future, Rach. I'm telling you, if you get back up when they push you down, someone will notice. Someone will come around and talk to you because you are stronger than the herd. That's why I came around and talked to you, because you were stronger than everyone. You were strong enough to forgive me, who was basically the leader of your lynch mob, and now look at this. Best friends for nearly two years now, and I'm not afraid to admit I love you now!"

Rachel began to tear up, and she smiled across the table at Quinn. "I love you, too." She dropped Quinn's hand, stood, and walked around the table to hug the blonde girl.

The girls made their way to the train station slowly, not wanting their time together to end.

"I don't want to go." Rachel said as they lingered in front of the train that was now boarding.

"I know." Quinn said.

"But I have to." Rachel sighed.

Quinn laughed. "Yeah, I know."

Rachel threw her arms around Quinn's neck and squeezed her tight. "Promise we can have visits like this more often. I miss you so much and I feel so much better about myself, now."

"Of course," Quinn said. "I promise."

Rachel let go, content with Quinn's response and began walking away. "Bye, Quinn."

"Bye, Rach." Quinn said quietly. She watched as Rachel got on the train, never taking her eyes off her. Rachel took her seat by the window and waved back to Quinn. The train doors sealed shut, and Quinn felt like her lungs did the same. She waved back to Rachel as she sped away, until she was out of sight.

* * *

"MS. BERRY." The instructor scolded as Rachel walked into her third class of the day at one thirty. "Class began forty-five minutes ago, and my records show that you didn't even attend your first two classes today! Are you trying to get yourself kicked out of this school? Is this all a joke to you?"

Rachel calmly walked past her furious vocal teacher and took her place on stage between her classmates who looked at her in awe. "Honestly," Rachel said sassily "I don't really care" she shrugged. "I'm here to sing. I'm here to perform. I'm not perfect, I'm just Rachel goddamn Berry, so stop trying to turn me into something I'm not."

The student's suppressed laughter as the instructor turned red. "Take your places, everyone! Get ready for our second number! We're going to run through Dance 10, Looks 3. MS. BERRY; since you seem to be feeling oh-so confident today, how about you take the lead!"

Rachel smirked and casually walked around her classmates, shuffling into their "A Chorus Line" positions.

The conductor waved his hands, initiating the band. Rachel took a step forward and began the sassy intro to the song.

"But after a while I caught on. I mean, I saw what they were hiring. I also swiped my dance card once after an audition. And on a scale of one to ten, they gave me, for dance- 10. For looks- 3." The instructor looked on from the audience silently as Rachel flipped her hair as the music picked up.

"WELL. Dance: ten; Looks; three.  
And I' still on unemployment,  
Dancing for my own enjoyment.  
That ain't it, kid! That ain't it, kid!" Rachel flung herself around the stage, really putting herself into the Val character. She stripped herself of Quinn's Yale sweatshirt which she was still sporting, and flipped it over her shoulder as she continued singing.

"Dance: ten; Looks; three,  
It's like to die!  
Left the theatre and  
Called the doctor for  
My appointment to buy, tits and ass!" Rachel grabbed her chest and backside as she sang the lyrics, making the rest of the students giggle as they danced in the background. This only encouraged Rachel's theatrical behavior.

"Bought myself a fancy pair!  
Tightened up the derriere!  
Did the nose with it!  
All that goes with it!  
Tits and ass!  
Had the bingo-bongos done.  
Suddenly I'm getting national tours!  
Tits and ass won't get you jobs  
Unless they're yours!" She ran around the stage to settle herself between a random boy and girl.

"Didn't cost a fortune neither." She sang and nudged the girl to her right.  
"Didn't hurt my sex life either." She winked and smacked the boy to her left on the ass.

"Flat and sassy,  
I would get the strays and losers!  
Beggars really can't be choosers!  
That ain't it, kid! That ain't it, kid!"

"Fixed the chassis, 'How do you do!'" she ran up to the front of the stage and waved flirtatiously to the instructor who shook his head but couldn't help but laugh.

"Life turned into and  
Endless medley of  
"Gee it had to be you!"  
Why?  
Tits and ass!  
Where the cupboard once was bare  
Now you knock and someone's there.  
You have got 'em, hey.  
Top to bottom, hey.  
It's a gas!  
Just a dash of silicone.  
Shake your new maracas and you fine!  
Tits and ass can change your life.  
They sure changed mine."

Rachel prepared herself for the epic notes she knew were coming, took center stage, and belted out. "Have it all done!  
Honey, take my word,  
Grab a cab, c'mon,  
See the wizard on  
Park and Seventy-Third!  
For tits and ass!  
Orchestra or balcony,  
What they want is whatcha see!  
Keep the best of you,  
Do the rest of you!  
Pits or class!  
I have never seen it fail!  
Debutante or chorus girl or wife!  
Tits and ass,  
Yes, tits and ass  
Have changed my life!"

Rachel took a bow as the class, orchestra, conductor, and instructor as well all burst into applause.

"Ms. Berry!" the instructor stood and said, "Fabulous performance. After all this time, I never thought you had this in you. You always seemed like you weren't willing to take risks or go outside the box. I suppose I was wrong."

Rachel smiled brightly and took another bow, "Thank you, sir! That means a lot coming from you!" she said breathlessly, still trying to recover from the performance.

"As for the rest of you, wonderful job. Class dismissed. See you all tomorrow! Oh and Rachel," he added.

"Yes sir?" she replied as she began gathering her things and the rest of the class began to disperse.

"Don't be late tomorrow." She nodded yes rapidly. "Good." He said and smiled, picking up his notes and leaving the auditorium.

"Hey Rachel!" One of the girls called out after her. A few others followed the girl who called out to Rachel.

"Hi," Rachel said back "you guys aren't going to beat me up or throw anything on me for being late today, are you?"

They laughed, "No," the girl said "we just wanted to say we thought that was spectacular. And we're sorry we've been kind of mean to you because we assumed you were just some weird control freak. Do you want to go with us to grab a bite to eat?"

Rachel couldn't believe it, she was finally being asked to join in on a social gathering. "Yeah, of course." She said, "I'd love to."

"Great!" One of the boys said, who was very obviously gay, "We're all just going to run back to the dorms and hit the showers and get ready, then we'll all meet at Visconti's around 4:00! Is that alright for you?"

"Perfect!" Rachel said, that would give her plenty of time to call Quinn and tell her how she was absolutely right.

Rachel ran the few blocks from the school to the Rose Building, again wearing Quinn's Yale sweatshirt. She ran up the stairs rather than taking the elevators, danced down the hallway, and burst through the door. Her roommate sat at her desk quietly studying, and Rachel felt guilty for interrupting her, but she couldn't contain her joy.

Her roommate was nothing like Quinn's gorgeous bombshell Angelina, but she was a sweet quiet girl. The Rose Building was shared by students from many art schools around the area, including Juilliard. Her roommate was Sara. A large girl, 5-foot-8 and easily 200 pounds with frizzy auburn hair; she played tuba at Juilliard for their concert orchestra program, and also sang opera. Sara was too shy to sing in front of Rachel, but she did show her YouTube videos of her opera performances, and Rachel thought she was wonderful. They didn't talk often or animatedly, but their room had a respectful silence. They didn't refrain from talking because they didn't get along or because they had different interests, but because one of them was almost always busy doing something and neither wanted to interrupt the other. They talked casually every so often about school and the weather, but other than that their shared space was a peaceful sanctuary for them both. Rachel felt lucky that she didn't get stuck with a partier, or someone that was more of a diva than she was. So when she came into her room that day, she quieted down her mini-party about her performance, quickly threw on a pair of Pink sweatpants with Quinn's Yale sweatshirt, and was back out the door. She fumbled through her purse for her phone and sat down in the hallway, since it was only 3:00 and she still had an hour.

After only a few rings, Quinn picked up the other line. "Hello?" she said.

"Hi!" Rachel said ecstatically, and Quinn could practically see her wide smile through the phone.

"So, how was being late?" Quinn asked playfully.

"GREAT!" Rachel squealed and giggled, and Quinn's stomach fluttered from the sound.

"Oh really, so I was right?" Quinn said.

"Absolutely!" Rachel replied, "At first my instructor was like, screaming at me! But then I told him exactly how I felt and basically kindly told him to shove it up his ass! And he replied by giving me the lead in Dance 10, Looks 3!"

"That's the one about tits and ass, right?" Quinn asked.

Rachel laughed, "Yes! Exactly!" she said "We ran the number, and I killed it! Everyone told me how great it was, and now I'm on my way to go get some food with some of the other people from the class! One of them, oh he was really sassy! He kind of reminds me of Kurt! They're all just…so cool!"

Quinn giggled, "Well, I'm glad you're happy now." She said, "that's what I want you to be."

"Thank you, Quinn." Rachel said sincerely. "I've gotta go meet everyone soon, so I'd better go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay," Quinn agreed, "bye Rach."

"Bye Quinn!" Rachel said, "I love you!"

"Rachel wait," Quinn stalled, "I have a question."

"Of course Quinn, anything." Rachel said patiently.

"Since when did we start saying I love you so much?" Quinn asked quietly.

Rachel thought for a minute before replying. "Since I realized what a truly amazing best friend you really are."

* * *

"So, I said, 'What do you MEAN this isn't Burberry? I paid a hundred dollars for this hat! Since then, I have never bought anything from any man in Greenwich Village just because he was incredibly hansom!" Adrian said, and the whole group laughed.

Rachel laughed too. She loved her new gay friend Adrian, and his Asian-dance-crew-boy demeanor. She loved Lisa, the girl who initially talked to her in the theater that day, who reminded her of a young, hipster Marilyn Monroe with her curly bob, red lipstick and black hipster glasses. Rachel adored Tyler, Adrian's twin sister, who was shorter than her and looked like a cartoon character with her bright green and pink hair, highlighter-yellow skinny jeans, Hello Kitty backpack, and plastic purple heels. Gregory was a tall, lanky Star Wars geek with a lightsaber necklace; but he was absolutely sweet as pie, and treated Rachel like his princess Leia from the beginning when he bent down to one knee and kissed her hand. Though he was sweet, his coke-bottle thick classes and messy black hair didn't catch Rachel's attention; especially after she was introduced to Jason.

Jason Howe was tall and muscular, and as hansom as the day is long. He had tattoo sleeves on both arms, which on any other person would have been a turn off for Rachel. His abs were so defined they were visible through his tight fitting v-neck. His light brown hair was buzzed short on the sides, and long on top, styled into a neat wave on top of his head. He wore a cross around his neck; just like the one Quinn wore, Rachel thought. He wore tan slacks and black dress shoes, and looked quite spiffy and irresistible from the get-go to Rachel. They hit it off right away, and spent the night in the corner of the restaurant booth talking about their favorite parts of the city.

Like Rachel, Jason was from a small town as well. He told her about his small town of Placerville, California, and his youth spent in local theater productions of Disney movies. Rachel fawned over his smooth talk, sweet personality, and his muscle tone.

Around 11 o'clock that night the group split, either heading to bars, coffee shops, or thrift stores. But Rachel chose to walk back to the dorm and catch some sleep before her classes the next day, where she planned to be just as ambitious and jet-setting as the day prior.

She walked down the block towards Lincoln Center in her own little world, thinking about Jason and thinking about all the wonderful things she had to tell Quinn about him. She was in the middle of spinning around a light pole, singing in the rain style, when a strong arm caught her mid-spin. Rachel squealed in surprise, but giggled when she realized who it was.

"Singing in the rain, huh beautiful?" He asked.

"It's a classic, you know." Rachel said.

"But it's not raining." He said.

"Hey, I was having fun! Don't rain on my parade!" Rachel pouted.

"No, that's Funny Girl, not singing in the rain." Jason corrected, and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"You know what I meant." Rachel said.

"Where are you going, anyway?" he asked as he followed her down the sidewalk.

"Home. I've gotta get some sleep or I'll be late to all my classes again."

"If you perform like you did today when you're late, you should be late every day. That was amazing, Rachel. You're wonderful."

Rachel blushed. "Well," she said bashfully, "your background dancing was pretty great, too."

"Yeah," he agreed, "especially the part where you smacked my ass. That was pretty great."

Rachel gasped. "That was you?" she said terrified, "That's so embarrassing! I'm so sorry I was just so into the roll I didn't realize-"

"Hey," he interrupted, "it's cool. I dug it."

Rachel smiled, relieved that he wasn't offended by her obscene gesture. "You're pretty smooth, you know. You're making it really hard for me to not flirt with you."

"Maybe I'm doing it because I want you to flirt with me." He said and stepped in front of her on the sidewalk, stopping her in her tracks.

"Oh really?" Rachel said and smirked.

"Really." He said, and bent down to kiss her. Their lips met and Rachel felt sparks. It was spontaneous, beautiful, and far better than any of the other kisses she'd had in the past.

"So," he asked as he pulled away and grabbed her hand, "can I walk you to the building?"

"I'd love that." Rachel said as she squeezed his hand back.


	2. Right Here, With You

**_You've always been the sweetest song_**

**_And even when the world went wrong_**

**_You never let the sun go down and fall to pieces_**

Quinn couldn't believe her eyes, which were fixated on her laptop screen. She wanted to take the stupid thing and throw it as hard as she possibly could against the wall, but she assumed that wouldn't be the best for something containing all her school work. Instead she just let the tears sting her eyes and roll down her cheeks.

_"Rachel Berry is in a relationship with Jason Howe"_

Stupid Facebook, she thought. Stupid Rachel, she thought and then took it back almost instantaneously. But really, how could she be "in a relationship" with someone she'd only known for a week? Quinn thought back to just the previous week when Rachel told her about the so-called "man of her dreams," the conversation still burned in the back of her mind.

_"Quinn!" She yelled through the phone, "I have exciting news for you!"_

_Quinn smiled and shook her head at the silly brunette, god she loved her. "What's up, Rachel?"_

_"Well, I don't know how to say this, but…I think I'm in love!"_

_Quinn's heart stopped. Rachel couldn't mean what Quinn thought she meant by that, could she? The blonde audibly gulped before she spoke, "What do you mean? With who?"_

_Rachel sighed in contentment, "Oh only the most wonderful, beautiful person in the whole world!"_

_"And who might that be?" Quinn asked hopefully and nervously._

_"His name is Jason!" Rachel said blissfully. And just as fast as it had stopped, Quinn's heart sank._

_"Oh." The blonde girl said, not sure what else to say._

_"Oh?" Rachel asked "Don't you want to know more about him?"_

_Quinn adjusted herself awkwardly on her bed, "Not really Rachel. I mean, I don't want to offend you but I'm just trying to keep boys off my mind and focus on school."_

_"Oh, okay." Rachel said, hurt but trying not to let her emotions show. "Well in that case, how's school?"_

_"It's going great." Quinn said. Rachel huffed and blew her bangs out of her face in frustration._

_"That's all I get?" Rachel asked fussily, "Normally you'd go on and on for hours about just one class and now all I get is 'It's going great'? What's going on with you Quinn?"_

_"Nothing, Rachel!" Quinn yelled back "Just drop it!"_

_Rachel was silent and hurt on the other end, and Quinn felt terrible for using that tone with her best friend even if she was being incredibly thick-headed._

_"Rachel, I'm sorry." She apologized, "I'm just frustrated."_

_"Look, I've gotta go Quinn." Rachel lied, "I'll talk to you later or something." She hung up; no "I love you's" or "goodbye's" or anything. Quinn felt nauseous and wrapped her arms around her stomach to try to contain the pain. How could she be losing the girl she'd been in love with since her freshman year of high school? How was she losing Rachel when she was so damn close to finally having her once and for all?_

The nauseous feeling reentered Quinn's stomach as she thought about the phone conversation almost a week ago and stared at the changed relationship status on her screen. She ran across the room and into her tiny bathroom. Quinn dry-heaved over the toilet as she heard the door to the room open.

"Holy shit, Quinn." Angie said, "I know I've only known you for a like, two months but I never took you for the bulimic type." The taller blonde flung her purse onto her bed carelessly and walked to the bathroom and sat on the floor beside Quinn.

Angie rubbed circles on her friends back, "Are you okay, kiddo?" She asked sincerely.

Quinn shook her head no, "I feel like someone just punched me in the stomach, ripped out my heart, and unplugged my brain all at once." She said.

"Oh," Angie said knowingly, "one of those days, huh?" Quinn shook her head yes as she dry-heaved again and shivered. Rachel's face flashed through her head and sobs began to wrack her body. She curled over into Angelina's arms on the bathroom floor and let the tears flow.

"Who did this to you?" Angie asked angrily, "I'm seriously about to go kick some ass!"

"Rachel!" Quinn said hysterically.

Angie froze. "Wait," she said, "Rachel said she's straight, though."

"Exactly!" Quinn said through the waterworks, "And now she's got a boyfriend and she doesn't even know!"

"Know what?" Angelina asked.

"That I love her!" Quinn said as she sobbed.

Angie laughed, "Dude, seriously Rachel has to be blind if she doesn't know that." She said, "I knew that before I even met her. Practically every other fucking word out of your mouth is Rachel; if she hasn't figured it out by now I think she just might be stupid."

Quinn wiped some of the tears off her face to make way for the ones still coming. "You aren't making me feel any better about this." She said.

"I know," Angie huffed, "I'm really bad at this sensitive shit. I don't like emotions; that's why I like math and sex. I don't need emotions for either of those things, so I'm set."

Quinn rolled her eyes, "You're supposed to have emotions when it comes to sex."

"Yeah, I know." Angelina said, "I'm fucked up."

"I know." Quinn agreed and chuckled.

Angie sighed and stood up, pushing Quinn off her and onto the floor. "Okay, pity-party over." She said, "Get up, because I have the perfect plan to make you feel better."

Quinn stumbled off the floor and adjusted herself. "What is this plan you have?"

"Well," Angie began to explain, "We are going to the nearest convenience store and buy two whole gallons of ice cream, your flavor choice, of course. Then we are going to return here, put on our warmest comfiest pajamas, cuddle on your bed, and watch movies with bad-ass, sexy female leads so you can slowly begin to embrace your gay. When we get bored of that, we will have a session of what I like to call Photoshop therapy, where we will pictures of Rachel's new man! We can Photoshop his face onto the end of a penis, morph him to make him look morbidly obese, make it look like he's raping a horse, whatever you want to do! Just be creative!"

Quinn smiled, wiped the rest of her tears away, and hugged Angie. "You are the coolest roommate ever, you know that?" She said.

"Duh," Angie agreed. "I didn't need you to tell me that. It's just a fact!"

* * *

"Hey babe!" Jason said and ran up to Rachel in the courtyard after their jazz dance class.

"Hey!" she said back, gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and grabbed his hand. They began walking towards the dorm building and chatting about their days.

"How are you?" He asked.

Rachel sighed and smiled, "Better now that I'm holding your hand." She said, "I've just been thinking a lot today."

"Thinking about what?" He asked, "Are you still thinking about buying that life-sized model of Barbra from that wax museum that's going out of business? Because if that's what you're thinking of, I still think it's kind of creepy."

"No, that's not it." Rachel said, but made a mental note to delete her internet history so he wouldn't see the bids she'd already placed on wax-Barbra. "I've just been thinking about how much I miss talking to my best friend."

"Who?" He asked, "One of the kids back in Lima?"

"No," Rachel explained, "she's at Yale. Her name's Quinn Fabray and she's basically the most perfect human being on the planet. Gorgeous, and kind, and a humanitarian and an intellectual and so spiritual; she just really inspires me every day. But we got into a fight a few weeks ago; I haven't talked to her since. Now I just feel like my inspiration is gone."

"Oh," Jason said, "well just call her again or something. She can't ignore you forever."

Rachel sighed. Maybe it was just because he was a boy, but Jason never really had the answers like Quinn did. Talking to him didn't make Rachel feel any better about her, or make her feel inspired. So maybe he was right, maybe she should call Quinn.

That night when Rachel was finally in her dorm again after a long day around the city with Jason, she picked up the phone and called Quinn. It rang a few more times than it would have about a month ago, but she still got an answer and that's all that mattered.

"Hello." Quinn said on the other end.

Rachel sighed in relief and melted into the mattress under her at the sound of the other girl's voice. "Quinn," she said, "god it's so good to hear your voice again."

"You too, Rachel." Quinn admitted and smiled.

"I forgot to tell you something last time we talked." Rachel said.

"And what is that?" Quinn asked and laid back on her bed just simply enjoying the sound of Rachel's voice in her ear.

"I love you." Rachel said sincerely and smiled.

"I love you too, Rachel." Quinn said quietly, "I've missed hearing you say that every day."

"Me too." Rachel said. And then, the conversation was lost. What would they talk about now? Rachel didn't know if Quinn was still upset about her new relationship, so she decided to risk it and bring the subject up.

"So," Rachel began, "can I talk to you about that thing we were talking about now?"

Quinn closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "The thing about that guy?" She asked, though she knew the answer.

"Yes." Rachel said.

Quinn's eyes began to burn with tears and the nauseous feeling came back to her stomach. "No." she told Rachel.

"Wait," Rachel said, "No?"

"Yeah," Quinn said, "no. I don't want to hear it."

"So you're saying you don't want to know anything about this guy who I'm dating?" Rachel asked, anger in her voice, "Some best friend Quinn. You should be the one asking me about him. Interrogating me to make sure he's good enough for me."

Quinn laughed with no humor, "Oh I know he's not good enough for you Rachel, that's why I'm not asking and why I don't want to know."

"How do you know he's not good enough for me!" Rachel yelled, "You haven't even met him or heard anything about him! He could be a saint and you wouldn't even know it! And he is! He's perfect! He's hansom and sweet and funny and smart!"

"It doesn't matter Rachel, he's just a stupid boy!" Quinn yelled back, "He'll never be good enough for you in my opinion and that's why I don't care to know him!"

Rachel began to get choked up, "Quinn, why are you being so stubborn about this?" Rachel cried, "This is something that matters a lot to me. And you know what else matters a lot to me? YOU. Why wouldn't I want the two most important people in my life to get along?"

Quinn couldn't stand to hear Rachel cry, but she had to stand her ground, "It's not going to happen."

"Yes it is-"

"NO IT'S NOT! God, Rachel why are you so stubborn?"

"I'm the stubborn one?"

"Yes," Quinn said through gritted teeth, "why can't you just figure it out?"

Rachel shook her head in frustration, "Figure WHAT out Quinn?" she said, "I can't seem to figure anything out with you anymore!"

Quinn hung up before she could say anything she would regret, flopped face first onto her bed, and screamed into the pillow. She screamed until she couldn't scream anymore, and then looked at the clock. Only five minutes had gone by since she hung up on Rachel. This was going to be a long night.

Around midnight, Angelina burst through the door with a tall, skinny, redheaded girl with big green eyes. Her blue dress was torn up one side, and her cheetah print bra was hanging out. They both smelled like strong vodka, and it made Quinn want to throw up.

"Hey, Quinnie Bear!" Angie slurred and sloppily hugged Quinn.

The redhead looked at Quinn with a hungry look in her eyes, "Who's this?" She asked Angie.

"Oh!" Angie said, "This is Quinn! And Quinn, this is…what is your name again?" She asked the girl.

"Mackenzie!" the redhead said.

"Oh, right!" Angelina said, "This is Mackenzie."

The strange but beautiful girl stumbled up behind Angie and wrapped her arms around her. "Angelina, you didn't tell me your roommate was a hot bitch. Can she join us?"

"No," Angie said, "Quinn's all heartbroken over a little slice named Rachel at NYADA."

"Aw, poor baby!" Mackenzie said and sat on the bed beside Quinn, "Why don't you go get her back?"

Quinn sighed as Angie sat on her other side, "It's useless," she explained, "Rachel doesn't even want to ever talk to me again. And I don't blame her. I've been a royal bitch to her. She deserves better than me, and she definitely deserves better than whatever douchebag she's dating right now."

"Quinn, baby," Mackenzie slurred, "you are the best. I bet if you love her so much, she probably deserves the best. And in that case, you're the best, so she deserves you! It's flawless logic!"

"God, you are so smart." Angie said and leaned across Quinn to kiss the girl.

"OKAY." Quinn said and, fed up with their drunken antics, pushed them apart and got off the bed, "I'll be back in the morning Angie."

"Go get her girl!" Mackenzie yelled and fell back on the bed, flashing Quinn.

"And just to let you know," Quinn said in a dead serious tone, "if you two have sex in my bed- I. WILL. KILL YOU."

Quinn spent an hour searching for a music store around the college town that would still be open at such a late hour, when she finally found a small coffee shop and music store with the lights on. She ran to the door and slammed into it; it was locked.

"Ugh!" Quinn banged on the door, "Come on! I just need this damn CD!" she cried.

She heard a click, and the door popped open. A tall Goth looking girl with black hair down to her mid-back faced Quinn.

"Sorry, just closing up." She explained.

"Please!" Quinn pleaded, "I just need this one CD! It's desperate!"

The girl looked skeptically at Quinn. "How desperate?" she asked.

"There's this girl. I think I'm in love with her. But she's dating some douchebag, I've never met him but I stalked his Facebook for a few hours and he's most likely a douchebag. We got into a fight about it, because I'm too stupid to find a way to tell her how I feel and she's too stupid to figure out how I feel even though I apparently make it very obvious. There's this CD I need to make her forgive me, every song basically sums up all my feelings for her. I'm going to get on a train to the city as soon as I get the damn CD, I'm going to walk up to her door, kick it down, make her listen to the whole CD, and tell her 'Rachel Barbra Berry, I fucking love you' and kiss her. It's going to feel like fireworks and nothing else will ever matter as much as that moment, even if she doesn't like me back. If I just get to kiss her once and tell her how I feel, my life will be okay again. Please, just let me come in. I'll pay you twice what the CD is worth."

The Goth girl sighed and leaned against the door frame, "Fine," she said, "I'll help you find what you're looking for, you have five minutes."

Quinn jumped up and down and squeezed the girl. She groaned, but couldn't help but smile back at the happy blonde.

It only took Quinn three minutes of searching through stacks of CD's to find the familiar album artwork. She kept her word and paid the girl twice what the CD was worth.

"Good luck!" The girl said as she locked the door behind Quinn.

Quinn waved back, but she felt a simple wave couldn't suffice for the giant favor she'd just done for her.

Fifteen minutes later, Quinn was on the train to NYADA trying her very hardest to not fall asleep. She clung to the CD and her purse for dear life as she sat across from a group of thugs looking at her intently. Luckily, they got off a few stops after she entered the train.

* * *

After what seemed like the longest train ride of all time, Quinn arrived in the city. Rather than getting a cab, she walked to NYADA, hoping that the fresh air would wake her up and clear her mind. The sun was beginning to rise, and the sun was a salmon-ish pink color, Rachel's favorite color, Quinn thought. Quinn wondered if this new guy Jason even knew Rachel's favorite color. Did he know her favorite foods, favorite songs, favorite movies, favorite places to cry? He couldn't know these things after only knowing Rachel a few months, which is why Quinn knew she was so much better for Rachel than him. She knew these things about Rachel. Quinn knew Rachel's favorite foods were vegan sushi rolls and Nutella on anything. She knew her favorite song at the moment was Naked Love by Adam Lambert, but her favorite song of all time was Don't Rain on My Parade. She knew her absolute favorite movie was Funny girl, but she could watch 50 First Dates over and over again. She knew her favorite place to cry was in the bathroom; because then she can watch herself cry in the mirror, so when she does emotional scenes she knows how to control her facial expressions. Quinn knew he couldn't possibly know these things about Rachel; this only made her more determined.

Quinn stormed into the rose building and headed straight for the elevators. She didn't know where she was going; she'd never been to visit Rachel until now. She knew from previous conversations that her room number was 363, she'd wrote it down just in case of emergencies just like this.

Once she finally found the door labeled 363, Quinn banged on the door and looked at her watch. She cringed, only 5:00 in the morning. But, luckily she also knew Rachel was a morning person and would most certainly be awake already.

A groan on the other side of the door and a few clicks, and Quinn was face to face with the girl of her dreams.

"Hi." She said breathlessly to Rachel. The door slammed in her face and clicked a few times again. She locked me out, Quinn thought.

She banged on the door again, louder and stronger this time. "Rachel!" she yelled through the door, "Do you want me to wake up your entire building!"

Rachel ran back to the door and unlocked it once again. She whispered through the crack in the door, "Quinn, go away! My roommate is trying to sleep and her whiteboard says she has a test today!"

"I don't care!" Quinn yelled back, and Rachel shushed her. Quinn sighed and obliged, "Fine, I'll be quiet!" She whisper-yelled, "Can we talk now?"

Rachel shook her head no and began shutting the door, but Quinn stopped it with a firm hand. "Then you're at least going to listen to this." She said and handed her the CD.

"What is this?" Rachel asked quietly, "David Cook?"

"I downloaded it months ago. It's always helped me sort my feelings out. I think it can do the same for you, just please listen to it." Quinn pleaded.

"Fine," Rachel agreed, "I will but-"

"No, Rachel." Quinn said, "No but's. I need you to listen to this now."

"Okay." Rachel said and started to shut the door again, but again Quinn stopped her.

"And Rachel," Quinn added.

"WHAT?" Rachel groaned.

"I'm not leaving."

Rachel nodded slowly, understanding. She shut the door, and this time Quinn didn't stop her. She just slid to the floor where she finally fell asleep.

* * *

After a blissful sleep on the hard floor in the hallway, Quinn heard the door open above her. Her eyes shot up, but she was disappointed to see the bigger girl who must've been Rachel's roommate leaving and locking the door behind her. Quinn looked at her watch again, and it was only 5:45. Rachel had to have listened to the whole CD by now, unless she'd just tossed it aside as soon as she shut the door.

"Do you know what's going on with her?" the husky girl asked Quinn from above with sincere concern, "She's been in there crying and listening to the same songs over and over again since I woke up."

Quinn's mouth gaped in shock, "I didn't mean to make her cry," She said quietly, "that CD always makes me so happy."

"Do you want to talk to her?" the girl asked Quinn, who immediately shot up from the floor, shaking her head yes rapidly.

She unlocked the door for Quinn, and Quinn smiled halfheartedly. "Thank you," she said to the girl, "what's your name?"

"Sara," she said, "and you must be Quinn?"

"Does she talk about me?" Quinn asked.

"No," Sara said, "Rachel and I don't talk often. But I hear her conversations, and I try not to listen in on her but it's hard in such a small space. She always sounds so happy when she talks to you; unlike when she talks to her dad."

Quinn looked at Sara, puzzled. "Which dad?" Quinn asked.

"She has more than one?" Sara asked.

"Yeah, raised by two gay dads. You definitely haven't talked to her that much if you don't know that." Quinn said and chuckled.

Sara laughed too. "Well, is one of their names Jason?"

Quinn cringed at the name, "NO." she said, "That's her boyfriend's name."

"Oh." Sara said and her eyes dropped to the floor. "I'm going to be really honest, I thought she was gay."

Quinn burst out laughing, "So did I."

"Well," Sara said, "you didn't hear this from me but…whenever she talks to this Jason guy he always sounds angry and she always sounds sad."

Quinn saw red. Nobody should ever be making her Rachel feel sad, especially some douchebag who barely knows her. "Well," Quinn said through gritted teeth, "thank you for telling me this, Sara."

"Of course!" She said and smiled, "I know I don't talk to her often but when you live in such a small space with someone, you care about them."

Quinn laughed "I know what you mean, my roommate looks like Lady Gaga before she went off the deep end, and she's an insanely talented mathematician…and a complete psychopath. But I love her to death and I stick up for her like she's my own sister."

Sara laughed too, "I've gotta go to class," she said "but it was great talking to you Quinn. And good luck."

Quinn smiled sweetly at the girl, "Thank you for everything, Sara, really."

"No problem!" the big girl said as she walked away.

Quinn's eyes followed her, and she stopped her, "Sara." She said.

"Yes?" she turned to face Quinn again.

"You are beautiful." Quinn said.

Sara's jaw dropped, and she blushed. She stuttered, searching for words to say. "Thank you, Quinn." She said as a tear trickled down her cheek. "Thank you."


	3. We Believe

_We believe, there's a reason that we're all here_

_That every doubt will disappear_

_We believe, that tomorrow carries something new_

_And after everything that we've been through, we believe_

Quinn slowly opened the door and peaked into Rachel's dorm room, and she couldn't help but laugh at the sight. Rachel was curled up on her bed under what had to be nearly a thousand stuffed animals of all shapes, sizes, and variations. Her brown hair hung over her face, which her hands were covering; her pink footie pajamas, which Quinn didn't even realize she was wearing before, were sticking out from under the mountain of fluffy stuff. Her laptop sat on the corner of the bed quietly playing Paper Heart.

The blonde shut the door behind her and Rachel looked up, red puffy eyes and trembling lips. She pushed all the animals out of her way, sat up, and merely opened her arms inviting Quinn in. Quinn was in the girl's arms in a heartbeat, holding her and crying too.

"Did you listen to the whole thing?" Quinn asked, and Rachel nodded yes.

"Yes, Quinn." She said, "And…it was beautiful."

Quinn let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding and put her head on Rachel's shoulder. "So, you understand now?" Quinn asked, "Did you hear the feelings I was trying to get across to you?"

Rachel nodded yes again, "Absolutely," she said, "you miss me. And I miss you too, Quinn. I never ever want to fight with you again over anything or anyone. I don't care if you don't want to know about Jason, we don't have to talk about him."

Quinn looked down at her hands sadly at the misinterpretation of the songs, "Look Rachel…" Quinn started to explain, but Rachel interrupted her.

"Quinn, no apologies." She said and kissed Quinn on the cheek, "I just want my best friend back."

Quinn sighed, "Yeah," she agreed, "me too."

They sat in silence for a few moments just holding each other, until Quinn broke the silence with something Rachel wasn't expecting.

"Tell me about him," Quinn said, and Rachel's eyes shot up to meet her hazel ones, "tell me about Jason."

Rachel gave Quinn the biggest smile, a smile that lit Quinn's world, and she began to talk about the man of her dreams. "Well," she said, "he is tall; probably about 6-feet tall. He's got brown hair, which he styles by the way, and not with gallons of gel like Blaine used to." Quinn chuckled. "He's got these gorgeous blue-silver eyes, he's tan, he's got perfect teeth. He's just perfect."

Quinn faked a smile, "That's great Rachel." She lied, "But how does he make you feel?"

Rachel thought about it for a moment, "He makes me feel…important. And special." Quinn frowned, and furrowed her eyebrows. "What?" Rachel asked, "Are special and important not good enough?"

Quinn shook her head. "No," she explained herself, "those are great things. But you're missing some of the most important things!" Quinn smiled halfheartedly and grabbed Rachel's hand. "He should make you feel things you've never felt before you met him. You should get butterflies in your stomach every time you see his face, and care about him more than you care about anything else."

Rachel took her hand from Quinn's and ran her fingers through her own hair in frustration, "I want to feel those things about him," she explained, "but I've only known him for a few months now! It takes time to feel those things about someone, doesn't it?"

Quinn pursed her lips, and shook her head. "Yeah, Rach, it takes time." She lied, failing to mention that she felt those things about Rachel the first time she ever laid eyes on her.

Quinn and Rachel spent the remainder of the morning cuddling under the stuffed animals and catching up on things. They laughed and cried, and when they ran out of things to talk about they just threw the stuffed animals at each other from across the bed.

Rachel hit Quinn in the face with one, and Quinn burst out laughing, "Hey!" She objected, "No projectile zebra's!" Rachel laughed and threw another, a unicorn this time.

"You have all the cool animals over there, though!" Rachel said. Quinn examined her surroundings; a platypus, a dragon, a black cat, and a horse.

"Why do you have all of these things?" Quinn asked, laughing.

Rachel simply smiled, and laid back down on the bed. "Well," she said, "when I was little and I started winning lots of trophies, they were usually too big for me to carry around and my dad's didn't want me breaking them. So, for every trophy I won they bought me a stuffed animal to remind me of what I won. This one," Rachel held up a beat up old stuffed beagle dog, "was my first. Not my first trophy, but the first animal I got which started this tradition. It was for a dance competition when I was two years old. It's funny, because I named it Lucy. So now whenever we're fighting I sleep with it and hope we'll make up soon."

Quinn smiled sweetly, "You are adorable, Rachel Berry." She said, and flopped down on the bed so she was face to face with the girl. "But don't worry, Lucy won't be needed anymore. I promise not to argue with you anymore, let's never be mad at each other again." Quinn held out her pinky to Rachel, who linked it with hers.

"I promise." Rachel agreed.

"So," Quinn asked, "which animal is your MVP award?"

Rachel laughed and pointed at the platypus, "After 17 years my dads kind of started running out of ideas."

Quinn giggled, "Obviously," she said, "I didn't even know they made stuffed platypuses!"

"You know, that competition stands out more than any of the others in my mind." Rachel said, "I just felt so important for the first time, and those songs were amazing."

"They were." Quinn agreed, "The one you wrote was beautiful."

Rachel blushed, "Thanks." She said, "You know, I kind of give you credit for that one. You pushed me to write something better because you knew I had it in me. That was the first time I knew you cared about me more than you were letting on. After that I just couldn't give up on us as friends; and look at us now!"

"I always cared about you more than I let on." Quinn said.

"I know." Rachel admitted.

"So," Quinn changed the subject, "have you talked to anybody else in a while?"

Rachel smiled and nodded. "Well," she said, "Brittany called me yesterday morning. I don't think she actually meant to call me because when I picked up she just started telling me what she wanted on her pizza, but when I finally convinced her that it was actually me we talked for a while."

Quinn laughed, typical Brittany, she thought. "Oh yeah," she said, "and what did you guys talk about?"

"Well, she asked me how my girlfriend Quinn was doing." Rachel said and scratched her head, and Quinn gulped. "Do you know anything about that?" Rachel asked. She thought back to the drunken conversation from months before she left for Yale. It was an Unholy Trinity tradition ever since freshman year to have a drunken sleepover at Quinn's house during the last weekend of the month. The tradition was created by Santana, mostly so that she had an excuse to make out with Brittany.

During the last weekend of May, only days before graduation, the girls had their last drunken sleepover ever. Judy was out of town on another Christian wine tasting cruise, so the girls had the house to themselves.

* * *

_Brittany and Santana, just like during every other sleepover they'd ever had, made out the whole time. Quinn awkwardly sat a few feet away sipping her orange juice and vodka concoction as she watched 21 Jump Street. She glanced over at the couple every so often, wondering if they ever came up for air. After a few stolen glances, Santana finally pulled herself away from Brittany to call Quinn out._

"_Seriously Q, if you're going to stare be more subtle." She said._

"_Or just join in!" Brittany added._

_Santana rolled herself off the couch and headed towards the bathroom. "Sure, but if you're going to take her up on that offer wait for me to get back." She said, "Nobody makes out with Brittany except me unless I'm in the room."_

_Quinn rolled her eyes and went back to watching the movie. Brittany bounced herself closer to her friend on the couch._

"_So," Brittany asked and took another sip of her cranberry and vodka, "is there anyone you want to be kissing right now, Quinn?"_

_Quinn looked sincerely at Brittany. They were best friends since the first day of high school, and Brittany was so sweet, she would never hurt her. So Quinn decided to just tell her._

"_Yeah, there is." Quinn admitted, "I wish I was kissing Rachel."_

"_Wait," Brittany said, "you guys aren't already doing that?"_

"_What?" Quinn asked, "Why would we be doing that already?"_

_Brittany tilted her head like a confused puppy. "Well, I was pretty sure you guys were dating." She said, "At first I thought it was kind of mean that Rachel would marry Finn while she was dating you, but then I realized Santana and I did like, the same thing to pretty much every guys we ever dated, so I decided it was okay."_

"_I am not dating Rachel." Quinn said._

"_Well then why do you guys always look at each other like you want to get naked and cuddle?" Brittany asked._

_Quinn's eyes bulged out of her head and she nearly choked on her drink. "What?" She said as she coughed._

"_Yeah," Brittany said, "when your guys' eyes meet in glee club, it makes the entire room feel awkward. You guys have so much sexual tension, and I don't even know what that means. Santana says it's when people who should be banging aren't banging and it makes things awkward."_

"_So, you're saying we should bang?" Quinn asked and laughed._

"_Absolutely," Brittany said, "I think if you guys don't bang soon, I might have to just push you on top of her and throw mine and Santana's lady toys at you both."_

"_What about lady toys?" Santana called from down the hallway as she opened the bathroom door._

_Brittany sprung up from the couch. "Hey Quinn!" she whispered, "Can we use your guest bedroom?"_

_Quinn groaned and grabbed her drink. "Only if you guys are quiet, and if you wash the sheets before my mom comes home in the morning!" she said._

"_Thanks, Q." Brittany smiled and kissed the top of Quinn's head, "And by the way, I think it'd be really cute if you and Rachel kissed. She's really pretty, even Santana thinks so. So go bang her."_

_Quinn laughed, "Okay Brit." She agreed, "I'll get right on that. But…can you do me a favor?" Brittany nodded. "Don't tell Santana or anyone else, please?"_

"_Of course, Quinn, I'd never tell anyone. But like I said, I'm pretty sure everyone knows because you look at her like your vagina is going to explode from all the sex you want to have with her."_

"_Okay," Quinn said and blushed, "you can go now."_

"_Alright," Brittany said brightly, "thanks for the room!"_

"_Have fun." Quinn replied. Brittany ran down the hall and grabbed Santana's hand. They quickly kissed, and Santana raised an eyebrow. Brittany nodded, they linked pinkies, and skipped down the hall. Quinn quickly heard the door lock behind them as she downed the remainder of her alcohol. And that's when she knew Brittany was right, she had to kiss Rachel soon._

* * *

"Nope," Quinn finally said, "I have no idea what she was talking about." She lied.

"Oh," Rachel said and laughed, "I didn't mind, I told her I wish I had a girlfriend as beautiful as you, but that I was lucky enough to have someone as hansom as Jason."

Quinn's breath caught in her chest at Rachel's comment. "You wish you had a girlfriend as beautiful as me?" she asked.

"Well, yeah." Rachel said bashfully, "If I ever want a girlfriend, you are at the top of that list."

Quinn smiled, "Good to know." She said, "Is that a long list?"

Rachel laughed, "No," she said, "just you, Evan Rachel Wood, and Taylor Swift."

"Got a thing for blondes, huh?" Quinn said and chuckled.

Rachel nudged Quinn and smiled, "Well, look at you, what can I say?"

"Anyway," Quinn said to distract herself from her heart beating a thousand miles a minute, "I talked to Kurt the other day." Rachel's smile widened by a mile and she squealed.

"And how is he?" she asked ecstatically, "I haven't talked to him yet, he's been so busy I haven't even seen him post any pictures of his work on Facebook!"

"He's great!" Quinn said, "He told me he's assisting on a project right now, and you're never going to believe who it's for!"

"Who?" Rachel begged for answers.

"I don't know if he wanted to tell you himself, it's kind of a big deal…" Quinn said.

"Quinn Fabray you can't leave me hanging like this. Tell me now or I will hit you with this zebra again." She picked up the zebra and held hit threateningly.

"Fine," Quinn gave in and said, "he's assisting in making costumes for Barbra for her show in Vegas in a few months."

Rachel gasped and froze, and Quinn was sure she was having a panic attack until she finally spoke.

"ARE YOU SAYING KURT IS MAKING CLOTHING FOR MY IDOL AND HE HASN'T TOLD ME?" She yelled. She grabbed her cell phone and began dialing.

"I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have told you, Rachel." Quinn said and backed away from the crazy.

"No no no!" Rachel yelled as she waited for an answer, "Quinn you did the right thing. But for now I think you might want to leave. I need to yell at Kurt and if you value your hearing you won't want to be around to hear that."

Quinn chuckled and grabbed Rachel's hand as she stood up from the bed. Rachel only got Kurt's answering machine, so she hung up and tried again.

"I'll leave," Quinn said to the girl still sitting on the bed, "I'll see you soon, though?"

Rachel nodded and smiled up at Quinn. "Bye, Quinn." She whispered as she waited for Kurt to pick up. Rachel leaned up towards Quinn with her lips pursed for a kiss. Quinn's mind raced; did she want her to kiss her on the lips, on the cheek? Quinn decided to go for it, and she shakily bent forward to meet Rachel's lips with her own. Quinn's lips just barely brushed Rachel's when Rachel jumped, and so did Quinn.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end of Rachel's cell phone crackled.

"KURT!" Rachel yelled.


	4. Fade Into Me

**_When I'm broken you're the one thing I need,_**

**_Like an ocean I feel you crash over me,_**

**_We disappear into each other,_**

**_Our colors appear and bleed into one._**

"This is hopeless!" Quinn groaned. She wadded up yet another piece of paper and tossed it into the already full trash. "I have aced every paper in this class. I haven't had writers block all semester, and now it's time to write my final and I have no idea what I'm doing. I literally have no direction."

Angelina sighed and looked up at Quinn. "Well I wasn't having any trouble studying for mine at all until you so rudely interrupted me with your whining, bitch."

"Please?" Quinn pleaded, "I just need someone to bounce ideas off of."

"Okay, what's the topic?" Angie gave in and asked.

"It's a ten page paper on either our own sexuality or the sexuality of someone close to us." Quinn explained.

"Oh perfect!" Angie said and smirked, "Write it about me and how fucked up I am!"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "He said ten pages long, Angie. That would be a novel."

Angelina laughed. "True. Well then why don't you just write about Rachel? She's interesting. I mean, you always tell me about how she cuddles with you and kisses you but she claims to be straight. Maybe that'd make an interesting paper."

Quinn thought about it, but then shook the thought out of her mind. "No," she said, "I don't know if I could handle that. And besides, he said if we weren't writing it about ourselves that we had to do a video interview with the person we wrote about. Rachel would probably not take it well if I just asked her to do an interview on her sexuality because it's not like the average heterosexual."

Angie shook her head in agreement. "Yeah, that's probably not the best idea." She said, "Damn, this teacher guy is a hard ass. This is fucking hard and I'm not even writing it."

"Yeah," Quinn huffed, "imagine how I feel."

"Why don't you write about yourself?" Angie asked sincerely, "I mean you're like, super gay, right?"

Quinn thought about it for a moment, was she really that gay? She'd never thought of the extent of her sexuality until then. She definitely liked boys, especially during the beginning of high school. But lately they just hadn't been catching her eye as much. And though she liked boys, she never loved them. She never once had the emotional connection to a boy that she had to Rachel. She loved Rachel. She never loved Finn, or Puck, or Sam. She still cared about them, but not nearly to the extent that she cared about Rachel. In fact, when Quinn thought about it, Rachel was really the only one in years that she'd felt attraction to in any way.

"I think I'm Rachelsexual." Quinn blurted out.

Angelina burst out laughing. "You're WHAT?" She asked.

"Rachelsexual! Like, she's the only one I'm attracted to in any way. I'm attracted to her sexually, emotionally, mentally, and every other way you can think of! But…whenever I think of my future love life, she's the only option. That's the only label for me- Rachelsexual."

"Sounds accurate." Angie agreed, "then what am I, Anysexual?"

"No," Quinn laughed, "that's called pansexual."

"Oh, close enough." Angie said and grabbed a container of Chinese food from the end of her bed. "Want some?" She offered to Quinn.

"No thanks," Quinn said as she rapidly scribbled notes onto a new piece of paper, "I think I'm onto something here."

"Jesus, is this going to be another one of these nights where you stay up till three in the morning under your desk lamp mumbling to yourself about not having enough ink in your pen? Because I swear to god the last time you did that I thought you were fucking possessed."

"Yeah," Quinn said, "I think it might be another one of those nights."

"Okay, well before you start going all nerd crazy on this essay shit," Angie said, "can I ask you a serious question?"

"Sure," Quinn said and looked up from her notes, "shoot."

"When are you going to tell Rachel how you feel?" Angie asked, "The way she was looking at you that one time she was here while you two were les-ing it up, her eyes were almost begging you to stick your hand down her pants."

Quinn turned red, "Really?" she asked.

"Trust me," Angie said, "it was really obvious."

Quinn silently flipped her pencil between her fingers and looked down at the floor. Angelina huffed and jumped off the bed. "Seriously, Quinn!" she said as she paced in front of the girl sitting in front of her, "Grow some balls! Not physically, but mentally. Actually, grow them physically too if that will help! You LOVE Rachel and look at where you're at right now. You're sitting in the dorm room with me, while she's probably out on a date with Tooly McDouchebag. Well guess what, if you don't grow a pair and tell her, that's where she's going to stay for the rest of her life, and this is where you'll be forever- sitting alone and writing about how much you love Rachel instead of being with her. Get up off your ass and tell her how you feel. In fact, don't tell her how you feel. Go to the city, grab her, and kiss the straight out of her!"

Quinn ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. "I can't do it like this!" Quinn said, "I can't do it in person, I can't do it." Quinn said, "what if she doesn't like me back and she runs away?"

Angie looked at Quinn dumbfounded. "Are you fucking insane? THAT GIRL IS IN LOVE WITH YOU!"

"Well, okay, but…" Quinn stammered.

"NO BUTS!" Angie yelled, "What is there to but about? She loves you; you love her. GO GET HER."

"It's not that simple," Quinn explained, "she's Rachel. She's so special. I never thought I would have to tell her how I feel; I thought she'd just figure it out. So now that I'm thinking about telling her, I know that it has to be as perfect as she is. How to I tell her?"

"Write it with an airplane in the sky!" Angie said, "Get her name tattooed on your ass! Take her out to dinner and propose to her for god's sake I don't even care, just do it!"

Quinn tapped her chin with her pencil and thought about it. The scribbles on her page were calling her, and even while brainstorming ideas on how to tell Rachel she loved her, all she could think about was writing it all down. Quinn was good at writing things, especially her feelings. She'd kept diaries ever since she could remember, and she still had them all. Sometimes she went back and read her high school diary, full of characters of Rachel with hearts around them. Ever since freshman year, all she wrote about was Rachel. At first, she wrote about how much she hated Rachel; how "stupid" and "ugly" she was. Then, she gave in and wrote about her true feelings. Either way, she just couldn't write enough about Rachel. That's how she knew what she had to do.

* * *

"Ay, Rach." Jason said as he opened the door to Rachel's room. Rachel smiled wide and looked up at him from her mattress.

"Hey, babe." She said as he gave her a quick peck on the lips and joined her on the bed.

"So, what's up?" he asked and nudged her. She giggled and paused the music playing on her laptop.

"Not much," she said, "I'm just relaxing before finals this week."

"Oh," he said, "should I go?"

"No no no!" she insisted, "Come lay with me, listen with me."

Jason groaned and Rachel dragged him down after her. They laid face to face on the bed and Rachel pressed play again. She skipped to track 13 and "This is Not the Last Time" began to play.

Jason cringed. "What is this noise?" he asked disgusted.

Rachel gasped. "What?" she asked, "You don't like it?"

"No," he said, "it's awful and depressing. I always took you for someone who listened to, I don't know, happy music."

Rachel frowned. "It's not depressing," she said, "it's beautiful. He writes about all kinds of different love."

"How can you stand this, it's so boring sounding." He said.

Rachel sighed and took the CD out of her laptop and back into the case. Jason grabbed the case from her hands and read it over. "David Cook?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, "Quinn got it for me."

"Of course, always Quinn." He said and rolled his eyes.

"Jason, come on she's my best friend. You'd love her if you met her."

"I don't want to meet her." He said, "I just want you to stop clinging to her, and start clinging to me."

Rachel rolled towards him on the bed, pushing the laptop out of her way. "Well, I can't do this with Quinn."

* * *

Rachel woke up the next morning alone. She was expecting a warm strong body around her, but she should have known better. The clock read 4:56, he must have left really early to ensure he wouldn't be caught leaving. Rachel's eyes started watering, but she held it together long enough to see the note on the other side of the bed.

"Play the CD in your laptop. This one isn't depressing and it reminds me of you."

She smiled, sniffled, and grabbed her laptop. She pressed play, and cringed; country music. The twang of the banjo rang in her ears and she quickly hit stop and ejected the disk. She scoured the bed for her David Cook CD, but it was no use. She looked all around the room, on her desk, in all her drawers, and even under the bed.

Eventually she gave up, and downloaded it on iTunes where she knew it couldn't be "misplaced" again. These things tended to happen when Jason was around; Quinn's Yale sweatshirt, and now the CD were suddenly vanished during his visits. He could be insanely jealous, Rachel thought, but he was so sweet.

Their dates were filled with romantic gestures, flowers, and passionate lovemaking. Rachel lived for those dates. They were few, and far between; but those dates made all the between time worth it.

They walked through central park one morning. He bought her balloons and flowers; they blew bubbles and fed ducks with some kids by the water, and held hands on a bench imitating the elderly couple on a neighboring bench.

One night Jason rented a limo to pick Rachel up. They club hopped, and danced and drank the night away.

But, it wasn't enough. Rachel was the queen of grand gestures, but sometimes it was the little things that lacked in their relationship; like buying her a CD that was actually in her music tastes. Quinn very obviously put lots of thought into what CD she was using to express herself; while Jason chose a genera of music that may have expressed his feelings but completely ignored the fact that time upon time Rachel expressed her hatred for country music.

She sighed and shivered; her room was cold and she wished she still had Quinn's Yale sweatshirt to keep her warm. She settled for her bed instead. Just as she snuggled in, her phone vibrated under her pillow. Rachel groaned and grabbed the phone, but smiled when she read the screen.

_"Quinn: Don't make any plans for the day. Be at the train station at 11am. I have a surprise for you :)"_

Rachel sleepily typed a quick reply. _"No plans, I promise. I'll be there :) Surprise? What kind of surprise?"_

Moments later, Quinn replied._ "…You'll see."_


	5. Hard To Believe

_**Stay, tell me the story again, how it all fell apart in the end**_

_**Just when you thought you were too far gone, **_

_**You're too far gone**_

At 11am sharp Rachel arrived at the train station. Her fluffy winter boots, tights, and skirt all matched her fluffy fax fur vest and hat. She chose the outfit because it reminded her of the one Barbra wore at the end of Funny girl. Of course, she had a near exact replica of Barbra's outfit, but she felt it was a little over the top for the occasion.

Rachel searched the crowds for Quinn, but the tall blonde was nowhere to be found. Rachel's paranoia from high school rang in the back of her head, that little voice told her it was a trick. But she knew it was wrong; she knew this was Quinn, her best friend, and if she wasn't there then she had other plans for the girl.

Across the station Rachel spotted Angelina holding a black poster board covered in gold star stickers spelling out "Rachel Barbra Berry." Rachel ran through the crowds to meet the tall girl who looked like she should have been on a runway rather than a train station.

"Angie?" Rachel asked, and Angelina smiled.

"Hi Rachel!" she said brightly, "I'm here to escort you." Angie linked arms with the shorter girl and led her off towards the train.

"Where's Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"I can't tell you that." She said, "Confidential and shit."

Rachel laughed, and couldn't stop smiling. Whatever game Quinn was playing or whatever she was planning must have been big, Rachel thought.

Once on the train, Angie led Rachel to the very back seats, where a bouquet of pink roses was sitting. "These are for you." Angelina said and gestured towards the flowers. Rachel quickly picked them up and admired them.

"They're beautiful," Rachel said in awe, "but what for?"

"Jesus Quinn was right you do ask a lot of questions." Angelina complained, "You'll find out very soon I promise."

The two sat as the train quickly filled up with people, the doors shut, and they were on their way to New Haven.

After about an hour and a half on the train, and a half an hour of Rachel's constant questioning, the girls arrived at the station. Angelina practically pushed Rachel out of the train because she was so tired of hearing her voice, but she knew for Quinn's sake she had to be nice; and though Rachel was completely and utterly the most obnoxious person she'd ever met in her entire life, Angie could see why she was so appealing to Quinn. Rachel's eyes desperately searched the station for Quinn, but again she was nowhere to be found.

"She's not here." Angie said, and Rachel frowned. "Don't worry," the blonde said, "there's just one more person you need to talk to before you can see her."

"Okay," Rachel said relieved, "and who is that?" Angelina pointed to an older gentleman in a brown vest and matching dress pants. His wooly sweater was rolled up to his elbows, his messy gray hair and mustache was on the verge of turning white, and his thick glasses framed his pretty hazel eyes. He was holding up a sign just like the one Angie had before, and he also had yet another bouquet of flowers. This time, they were gardenias.

Rachel slowly walked up to the man, and he smiled warmly at her. "You must be the Ms. Rachel Barbra Berry I hear so much about?" he said.

Rachel nodded, "Yes, that's me."

"Good," he said and handed her the flowers, "these are for you from Ms. Fabray." Rachel held the second bouquet with the second one and she blushed a deep red. She'd never felt so loved in her entire life, and she didn't even know what was going on.

"I'm sure you're wondering what's going on." The man said, as if reading her mind. "And you're probably wondering who I am, as well."

"Yeah, I'm a little puzzled." Rachel admitted and the man laughed.

"Walk with me." He said and lead her out of the noisy train station and out onto the street. They casually walked down the sidewalk towards a small park in silence. They reached the park and the man took a seat on a bench directly across from a small pond and looked out over the water. Rachel hesitantly took a seat beside him and set her flowers gently on the bench.

"So, what's going on?" She asked the man.

He turned towards Rachel and pulled an envelope out of his vest. "Quinn has confided in me." He said slowly, "My name is Dr. Steinem. I'm Ms. Fabray's Human Sexuality teacher."

"She's told me a lot about you." Rachel said.

Dr. Steinem laughed. "Not as much as she's told me about you, I can guarantee it."

Rachel tilted her head in confusion. "So, why are you here?"

"Well," he began, "the final assignment for my Human Sexuality class was a ten page paper on the sexuality of the student writer or someone close to them. Quinn chose to write about herself, and she asked me to share it with you today. Ms. Fabray isn't the most expressive with her words sometimes, but I can tell you as her teacher, she is a brilliant writer."

Rachel shakily took the envelope from the man and unsealed it. She steadied herself on the bench as she unfolded the thick layers of paper.

_"A few months ago, a wise man asked me what love was; he asked mostly because I was running late to his class. Luckily, thinking about love was what made me late in the first place. I replied by saying that every person is like a magnet; when they find that other person that they are meant to be with, they are drawn to them no matter what. Regardless of age, race, sex, sexuality, religion, or shoe size you can't keep yourself away from that person. Some people are not patient enough to wait around and find that person, so they make themselves feel those feelings about someone; but those relationships aren't real, they look forced and unnatural like when you try to stick two magnets together the wrong way._

_I tried for years to force myself to feel those feelings, even though I was one of the lucky ones who found the person I was meant to be with at the age of 15. Coming to terms with any sexuality other than heterosexual in a devout Christian home is hard; it took me until my senior year of high school to accept that I was a lesbian, and still my family and most of my friends do not know._

_I realized I was a lesbian the day I met my best friend, Rachel Berry. At our high school freshman orientation on the first day of school, I saw her across the gym of William McKinley. I fell for her, and I fell hard; literally. The JV cheer squad was practicing stunts in the corner of the large room and I, as a flier, shouldn't have been looking around the room for her. One minute I was up in the air, seeing her beautiful face for the first time, and the next everything was black. I opened my eyes to see the entire JV cheer squad around circled around me on the floor, and Rachel at my feet asking me if I was okay. I snapped at her, and called her big foot. The rest of the cheer squad burst into laughter, and she ran off crying. From that day on for three years I made her life a living hell, while secretly wishing I could be a part of her life without destroying it._

_Our entire freshman year I spent most of my time calling her names, writing and drawing derogatory things about her on bathroom walls, and publicly humiliating her. Sophomore year, things changed. In the misery of keeping my sexuality a secret, I let boys begin to control my life. I got pregnant at the beginning of the year, by my boyfriend's best friend. As a Christian, I could not and would not abort. Even after all the humiliation and torture I put her through, Rachel was there to support me. She urged me to rejoin the glee club and sing with her again, and it was the first time in my life when I ever felt wanted; it was the first time I ever really felt loved. Her biological mother adopted my baby, Beth, when she was born. Junior year, things began to return to normal. I continued to humiliate Rachel, but not as often. I continued to throw myself at boys, hoping to feel that spark with them; it never happened. About halfway through the year, Rachel and I were stuck together to write a song for the glee club. She spent the majority of our writing time together talking about her ex-boyfriend, and my boyfriend at the time, Finn. I didn't want to talk about boys, I just wanted to enjoy the alone time I had with her. It was the first time we'd ever been alone together where I could just be myself without pretending to hate her, but I couldn't even get a word in edgewise between her ranting about Finn. Eventually I just gave in and told her how I felt, without telling her exactly how I felt. I told her that she was going to get out of that miserable little town if she just left him; she couldn't understand where I was coming from, but I was taking a bullet for her. If I stayed behind with Finn, then she could leave and live her dreams without being held back by an idiot. I tried to explain to her, if she kept searching for that happy ending that she would never get it right. I just wanted her to give in to the magnets pull, and stop searching for something she wasn't going to find. Unfortunately, I wasn't clear enough about my feelings, like always, and she went back to Finn. This drove me off the deep end. The summer before senior year I cut all my hair off and dyed it pink, I got a tramp stamp tattoo of Ryan Seacrest, I started smoking, and I began hanging out with a group of girls who called themselves the skanks._

_Then senior year, everything changed._

_It started when Rachel came to my rescue once again. After all the things I'd put her through, she came back once again, just like she did when I was pregnant, and she tried to get me to rejoin glee club again. Stubborn as I am, I didn't listen to her. When Rachel's biological mother and the adopted mother of my daughter, Shelby, moved back to Lima, she told me she wanted me to be a part of Beth's life but only after I got my act together. I dyed my hair blonde and put on a dress again, but nobody knew how truly broken I was below the façade. I planted things in Shelby's house to make Child Protective Services believe that she was an unfit mother because I wanted Beth back so badly. At the time I thought she was the only thing I'd ever done perfect. Until Rachel reminded me that Beth wasn't the only thing I'd done perfectly._

_Rachel stopped me from ruining Shelby's reputation just to get Beth back, because I realized I had more to live for than just making others miserable because I was. Rachel was this bright, shining light which led me through the tunnel of misery where I was hiding, denying my sexuality. A few days after she stopped me from ruining Shelby's life, I applied for Yale._

_When I received my acceptance letter, Rachel was the first one I told. When I told her about my acceptance, she told me her and Finn were engaged. I told her she couldn't say yes, I told her he was going to hold her back from her dreams, I gave her every reason I had to not marry him; accept the most important reason- that I was in love with her. After she told me about the engagement, I took every opportunity to express my discontent with the situation. It put a wedge between us, until tragedy struck. A boy who went to our school was being bullied out of the closet, and he tried to kill himself. I realized that if I hadn't got a grip on myself because of Rachel, it could have been me. It made me realize I needed to tell her exactly how I felt. Unfortunately, the tragedy made many of us make drastic decisions. Rachel and Finn moved their nuptials to the following weekend, so again I did not tell her how I felt. On the way to the wedding, I crashed my car because I was texting Rachel while driving. She meant so much to me, and it meant so much to her that I be there; but I never made it._

_When the news of my accident made it to Rachel, she postponed the wedding back and was the first one to the hospital. I had temporary paralysis and was stuck in a wheelchair. Rachel felt terrible; she blamed herself for what happened to me, when it was really no one's fault but my own. But, I still hoped that my accident would be enough for her to call off the wedding for good; she didn't. They continued planning the wedding, so I continued forcing myself to feel things I wasn't capable of feeling about boys. When prom arrived, I was still in a wheelchair, but I had to win prom queen. I thought if I won prom queen I could win Rachel, and the only way I could win prom queen is if I had a worthy king. I knew Finn was still the king stud around the school just like when we were dating our freshman year, so I ran for queen with him. Rachel was insanely jealous, but if only she'd known why I was running in the first place. I won, by one vote. I thought I would feel wanted, and beautiful, and worth something; but I didn't, because it was in that moment I realized that the only person who's opinion mattered was Rachel. My friend Santana and I were the ones counting the votes at the prom, and I decided I didn't need the crown, all I needed was Rachel. We rigged the votes to make Rachel win, and the look of shock on her face when she was announced prom queen made all the years of torture and humiliation disappear. I knew she would never forget that moment where she felt like a princess, and I was the one who made that happen. She didn't need to know it was my doing, I didn't need the credit. Her happiness was enough of a reward. A few weeks later, graduation came and so did Rachel's acceptance letter to NYADA. I was so excited to know that I would have someone close to me when I began college. I had been saving up all year to buy myself dorm supplies, but when I heard Rachel got into NYADA I bought us Metro passes to visit each other. It was the best decision I ever made, because now when she needs me most, I can be there for her in an hour or so. It's the least I can do for her after all I've put her through, and I can expect that she'll be there for me when I'm hurting because of what she's unintentionally doing to my heart._

_The internal struggle of keeping a secret like this hidden from the world makes me tired; I am constantly searching for some way to express how I feel without speaking it. In my mainly hypocritical Christian household sins weren't sins unless they were said aloud, so still mainly out of habit I don't talk about my sexuality. I have begun to use music and art to express my feelings and sexuality. When my own words fail, lyrics will fill my silence. A few weeks ago, I gave Rachel a CD to let her know how I feel about her. This Loud Morning by David Cook sums up every feeling I've ever had about Rachel, from misery to ecstasy. Fade into Me makes me think of the first time Rachel and I ever spent the night together, and the way she rolled over in her sleep and woke up in my arms. Rapid Eye Movement reminds me of the countless sleepless nights I've spent worrying about how she'd react if I told her how much I loved her._

_It's funny how something as simple as music can speak to a soul so much; but sometimes when your own voice isn't strong enough, someone else must speak for you. So in the wise words of Mr. David Cook, I will leave you with this- "When stars fall, and ground breaks, you're sinking 'cause it's too late, don't tell me that it's over, even though you're finding it hard to believe." I love Rachel Barbra Berry. I have loved her since the day I met her, and I will love her until the day I die._

_I understand this paper was supposed to be written on my sexuality, but my sexuality isn't important to me. I don't need to label myself gay, straight, pansexual, transgender, asexual, or any of the common labels of sexual orientation. If I were to give myself any label, it would be Rachel's. If I fail this paper because I completely failed to address the topic then that's totally fine with me, because to make someone understand my love for this girl is all I've ever wanted."_

Rachel took in a jagged breath and wiped the tears streaming down her face. Dr. Steinem put his hand on her shoulder. "How are you feeling, Rachel?" he asked.

Rachel shook her head in distress as the tears began to flow freer. "I don't know what to say." She said honestly.

"I know this is a lot to take in," he said understandingly, "take your time."

Rachel's hands shook as she folded the papers up and placed them back in the envelope. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever read in my entire life." Rachel finally said, "But it just feels like my entire life just changed in the blink of an eye. I had no idea she felt this way. It explains so much, but leaves me with so many questions at the same time. How come she didn't tell me sooner? Where is she?" Rachel wrapped her arms around her stomach and let herself sob. The people in the park walking by gave her judging looks, but she didn't care. She just wanted Quinn. She just wanted to stop the violent nauseous feeling that was slowly sinking in her stomach. She just wanted the world to stop spinning, and she knew the only way to stop that was to be in Quinn's arms.

"Can I see her?" Rachel asked slowly and took a steadying breath, "Where is she?"

The doctor smiled sadly and glanced around, "She should be here any second now." He said.

Rachel stood up and began pacing. After a few too many minutes of pacing, Rachel began to worry she wouldn't show up. After the incident on the way to her and Finn's ridiculous wedding, Quinn knew better than to be late meeting Rachel because of the anxiety attacks it gave the little brunette. Even Dr. Steinem began to check his watch in anticipation after Quinn hadn't shown up fifteen minutes later. Rachel texted her, multiple times, but with no luck.

Twenty minutes later, and Rachel was crying again. She was anxious and confused and scared, and she needed to see Quinn. She was relieved when she felt arms pull around her waist from behind, at last, she thought. Rachel flipped around in a split second to admire the girls beautiful porcelain face, hazel eyes, and glowing blonde hair; but she was instead met with strong chest muscles and the overwhelming smell of Old Spice.

"Rachel what are you doing here?"

"Jason?"

* * *

Quinn watched from a block away. She was too late. The bouquet of red roses sprinkled with golden glitter hit the pavement, and Quinn crumpled against the nearest wall. She sat on the dirty, cold sidewalk and cried, not caring who saw. Just a minute too late. If only she had been a minute earlier, she would have been holding Rachel. She could have been explaining things to her, making her feel safe and warm. But instead he was; Jason Tooly McDouchebag Howe. Quinn literally felt sick to her stomach at the sight of her in his arms, she had to turn away.

Angie ran down the block towards Quinn from the park. "Quinn!" She yelled, "Where the hell have you been? Rachel read your paper, she wanted to see you! But you kind of lost that opportunity now that Magic Mike is over there!"

Quinn shook her head and buried her face in her hands. "Time was fighting against me all the way here!" She sobbed, "I couldn't get a cab, the florist was slow, and I wore heels so I couldn't run! I can't believe this is happening." Quinn gasped for air and gripped her chest. It felt like she was literally having the life sucked out of her, all the meaning slowly draining from it.

Angie sat down on the sidewalk beside Quinn and put an arm around her shoulders. "Not all is lost," Angelina said, "I saw the look in her eyes when she was reading that paper. It was nothing less than amazement. She loves you, whether she knows it or not."

Quinn nodded and buried her face into Angie's shoulder. She cried for nearly an hour on that sidewalk, and Angelina didn't try to move her once. She just sat there and let Quinn cry it out until she was ready to leave. Around three o'clock, Quinn slowly stood up and walked to the park. Rachel and Jason had already left, but the doctor still sat on the bench calmly looking over the water.

He smiled at Quinn, but he didn't take his eyes off the water. "You did an amazing thing today Quinn, even if you don't feel like it."

"I feel like crap." Quinn said and sniffled. Angelina took a seat on the other side of Quinn on the bench.

Dr. Steinem laughed, "Well, coming out of the closet to someone you're head over heels in love with is a traumatic event, especially when you've been in love with this someone for four years."

"She probably hates me now." Quinn said as the shudders wracked her body.

Dr. Steinem shook his head and disagreed. "I observed her reaction, and hatred wasn't an emotion I picked up on. She was most certainly conflicted, and anxious, and curious. She just wanted answers and a hand to hold, and she was willing to let anyone fill that void at the moment. Unfortunately he came sooner."

Quinn sighed and shook the thought of Jason holding her Rachel out of her head. "It's not fair." Quinn said stubbornly.

"Life is never fair." The doctor said, "The people who get what they want are either extremely lucky or they simply take what they want. Well, Ms. Fabray, I hate to say it but you are certainly not lucky, so it looks like you are going to have to just take her."


	6. Take Me As I Am

**_When I'm lost and broken,_**

**_Take me as I am, right here where I stand, open up your arms and let me in._**

**_Out here on my own, I know I'm not alone,_**

**_Let me in your heart right where you stand, take me as I am._**

"Come on Rach, we're gonna be late!" Jason yelled as he walked down the hall towards the elevators in Rachel's building.

"I'm hurrying!" Rachel huffed as she simultaneously put in an earring and slipped on a heel. She ran out the door after Jason, and tripped. She lost her balance and fell to the floor. Jason heard the thud and turned to face her.

Instead of consoling her he pulled her up and said, "Walk much?" Rachel's eyes watered, but she didn't let herself cry, she just wanted to enjoy the night because she knew how few and far between these dates were. She pulled herself together, brushed her short black dress off, and continued walking behind her boyfriend.

* * *

"This restaurant is amazing, how'd you get us reservations?" Rachel asked in awe as she looked around the five star restaurant.  
"I have my ways." He said disconnectedly as he texted across from her under the table.

"I can tell you're texting, you know." Rachel said and sighed. "Can you not do that right now? It's embarrassing, this place is so nice."

He huffed and stuffed the phone back into his pocket. "It was important, but sure I'll sit here and do nothing instead." Jason mumbled.

"Who were you texting?" Rachel asked, out of sincere and innocent curiosity.

Jason's guard was instantly up, and he began getting defensive. "Just one of the guys. Jesus Rachel, you don't have to be so paranoid, you know."

Rachel looked down at her utensils ashamed of herself, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be nosy." She said. The waiter came to take their orders moments later; Jason ordered first, a sausage tortellini and asparagus, and he ordered the same for Rachel. She didn't object, though he should have known she was a vegan and also hated asparagus; but when it came down to eating meat or a vegetable she didn't particularly enjoy, she chose the asparagus. They ate in silence; Rachel pushed the tortellini around her plate and suffered through eating the asparagus.

She thanked god when the waiter brought the check to their table. She was so anxious to leave that she didn't even wait for Jason to pull out his wallet, and she paid herself. Rachel practically ran outside and into the street to hail a cab. Jason got in after her, a bit confused by her haste.

"What's your problem, not having fun?" he asked as if it weren't obvious enough.

Rachel didn't say a word.

"Oh, I see." Jason said and scooted closer, "You're just not having fun _yet_." He started kissing Rachel's neck and tried slipping his hand up her thigh.

Rachel fussed and pushed herself away. "Cut it out!" she yelled.

Jason huffed and pouted. "Seriously, what is with you lately?"

"I'm just not in the mood, okay?" Rachel snapped at him.

"Whatever," he said, "I have plenty of things to be doing tonight other than dealing with your shit. Can you stop the cab?"

The cabbie hit the brakes, and Jason hopped out.

"Wait, Jason stop!" Rachel called after him, but he just shook his head and shut the door in her face.

The driver waited a second or two to make sure that Rachel wouldn't try to follow her boyfriend out, but when she stayed put and began to cry, he continued driving. He looked at her sympathetically in the rearview mirror.

"Are you okay back there, Hun?" the old man with the strong Brooklyn accent asked.

Rachel shook her head no and wiped the mascara streaming down her face off with a tissue she found in her purse. "Usually our dates are so nice," she explained, "and all the other days are like this. But now it's the dates too! And I don't know what to do!"

The cabbie shook his head. "Kid, I can tell you from being around you for five minutes that you are too good for a scumbag like that. Go get yourself a good boy, or girl for that matter! Anything but him, a nice Jewish girl like you don't deserve that kinda treatment!"

Rachel halfheartedly smiled, "I already have a good girl."

The man smiled back at her through the rearview mirror. "There ya go!" He said, "Then get outta here! When I get you where you're going, you promise me you'll go straight to that girl and get away from that other schmuck?"

Rachel giggled, "I promise."

"Atta girl!" The old man said. They spent the remaining few minutes on the drive to Rachel's building in silence.

When the cab pulled up in front of the Rose Building, Rachel insisted on paying the cabbie double. She got out of the car and hesitated before walking away. She opened up the passenger's side door, leaned across the seats and hugged the old man.

"Thank you." She said, "Sometimes even the nice Jewish girls need a kick in the ass to get them going on the right track."

He winked at her and nodded knowingly. "You go get her, girl."

Rachel ran up the stairs rather than taking the elevator. Her adrenaline just wouldn't allow her to stand still long enough to stand the elevator ride up to her level. By the time she burst through the door to her room, it was 10:36 and Sara was asleep and snoring loudly. Rachel didn't want to wake her, even in her excitement and nervousness, so she grabbed her laptop and sat in the hallway outside the door.

Normally Rachel would have chosen calling or texting over video calling, especially when looking like a hot mess after having cried the entire ride home. But, in a fit one day after Quinn wouldn't answer her calls, Rachel threw her cell phone against the sidewalk outside of the main NYADA building. Her friends gave her cruel looks as she picked up the broken pieces of her iPhone, as they frequently did lately like they did in the first few days. Rachel didn't know if they were just growing tired of her or if they never really liked her in the first place, but she felt like she didn't have a friend in the world. And then there was Quinn.

Rachel smiled as she remembered the blonde's flawless smile and hazel eyes that filled her with happiness. She didn't know what it felt like to be in love with a girl, but she most certainly loved Quinn in some sense of the word. She didn't know what it felt like to feel those magnets Quinn was talking about, but maybe she would feel it someday. She hoped and prayed she would feel it when she saw Quinn's face again. She hadn't seen that beautiful face since before she admitted how she felt, and three weeks had now passed.

Rachel opened Skype, but Quinn wasn't available for a call. She sighed, clicked on the internet icon, and opened a Facebook tab. She clicked on Quinn Fabray's smiling face and clicked send message. The light on her laptop webcam lit up, and she took a deep breath. Here it goes, Rachel thought, here goes nothing.

* * *

Quinn and Angelina giggled and stumbled down the hallway and towards their room after the Phi Zeta Kai semi-annual house party. Quinn was wearing a sombrero and Superman boxers over her jeans, Angelina was carrying a blow up doll and a super soaker, and the both of them were completely wasted as were the rest of the attendants of the Phi Zeta Kai party.

The party continued while the girls were in their room. Quinn was yelling "Fuck the police!" and spinning in circles, until she heard a crack then a crash. She looked down at her feet to see her laptop in scattered pieces on the floor.

"Oh shit." Angelina said.

"Yeah, oh shit." Quinn agreed. She stared down at the broken pieces and tried to fix it, but alas, she was too drunk. "I'll fix it in the morning." She said as she yawned.

"Sounds like a good plan." Angie agreed as she laid down next to Quinn in her bed. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Yep." Quinn answered, "I need a cuddle buddy."

Angelina cuddled up next to Quinn. "You miss her, huh?"

Quinn nodded silently. "I just want to know what's she's thinking. She hasn't even tried to get a hold of me or anything. No calls, messages, anything."

"Maybe she has tried, you never know." Angie said, "This cup could be half full of Berry juice."

Quinn sleepily giggled and yawned again. "I just want to know what she's doing right now. I wonder if she's thinking about me, too."

* * *

Rachel sat in the hallway staring at her computer screen until midnight waiting for a reply, but nothing came. She gave in and returned to the room. Rachel flopped on the bed, still in her dress and heels, and cried.

She couldn't explain why she was so emotional lately. Ever since Quinn had told her how she felt it was like Rachel was a completely different person, a completely different emotionally unbalanced and borderline train-wreck of a person.

Rachel decided that maybe it was best that Quinn didn't reply; maybe she needed to figure out exactly how she felt before she talked to Quinn again. She closed her eyes and laid back onto the bed, but didn't dare sleep. She dug down to a place she'd never been before, and really thought about herself. Who is Rachel Berry? She thought, how is this Rachel feeling right now?

First, Rachel thought about the more negative situation on her mind- Jason. How was she still with him? Why could she not just leave him alone? Rachel took a moment to think it over before it really hit her. She only wanted to be with him for a few reasons. Firstly, like an expensive purse or a nice pair of earrings, he was quite the accessory while they were out on the town. The looks of jealousy and envy from all the other women made her giddy; she'd never been the one envied, she'd always been the envier. Secondly, Rachel needed someone to need. She'd never gone more than a few months without having a boyfriend or having a crush because she needed someone to channel all her energy on. Lastly, she thought she would never get another chance like this in a lifetime. Jason was gorgeous, and he had his sweet spots, and he wanted to be with Rachel. If she passed up this opportunity, she knew she would end up alone because nobody else would tolerate her; but then, there was Quinn.

Rachel knew Quinn loved her, until a few weeks ago she had no idea to what extent, but still. Rachel believed Quinn when she said she loved her, because she could feel it under her skin when Quinn said the words. When Jason said he loved her, it fell flat and meaningless. When Quinn said the words, no matter how frequently she said them, it always felt like that second when she was saying she loved Rachel was the most important second of her whole life. Rachel got chills down her spine as she thought about the way Quinn said she loved her, but she quickly shook them away. She had to keep a cool head if she planned to make a rational decision. Rachel looked at the clock which read 1:59 and decided a rational decision probably wasn't in the cards at that late of an hour, and she fell quickly asleep.

* * *

"Jesus, how much did I drink last night?" Quinn groaned as she rolled off of the bed.

"Not even as much as I did!" Angelina said as she handed a McDonalds bag to Quinn, and Quinn's stomach flipped. It smelled like heaven. Angie sat on the floor beside Quinn and dug into her own food.

"Where's my laptop?" Quinn asked, her mouth stuffed full of food.

Angie laughed, and pointed at the planter box in the window. "You totally killed it last night, and then put it in there. I think you thought it would grow back over night."

Quinn gasped, stuffed the remainder of her food into her mouth, and grabbed the shattered pieces out of the soil in the box. She dusted off the parts, stuck them back together, and pressed the power button but it was no use. Quinn pulled out her cell phone and called her mother.

"Mom?" she said when the line picked up.

"Oh, Quinnie!" Judy yelled through the phone. "I've missed you!"

"Mom, I know I'm far away but you don't have to yell, I can hear you." Quinn said.

"Oh!" Judy said and took the volume down a notch, "How are you, sweetie?"

"Great." Quinn lied, "Except, I kind of broke my laptop last night."

Judy gasped. "Can you fix it?"

"Not likely," Quinn said, "it's shattered and the pieces are filled with dirt."

Judy was silent for a moment. "That was some kind of party last night, huh?"

Quinn's eyes widened. "How'd you know?"

"Come on, Quinn." Judy said. "A laptop full of dirt? And I went to college too, remember."

Quinn laughed. "I forgot, I guess there's no fooling you then."

"Nope," Judy agreed, "I am all-knowing. So, what do you want me to do? Try to get it fixed or just buy you a new one."

"Well, I think it will be more expensive and time consuming to get it fixed…" Quinn stalled.

"Okay, I'm wiring you money for the new one right now." Judy said.

"Thanks, mom." Quinn said longingly, wishing she could give her mother a hug and tell her all her problems. Unfortunately, all her problems weren't as easy as a laptop full of dirt.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Judy asked, hearing the tone in her daughter's voice as any good mother should.

"I think so mom, but I'll keep you updated on that."

"Alright," Judy said skeptically and concerned, "please do keep me updated. But for now, go get yourself a new laptop. I've gotta go, I've got boggle with the ladies from church in thirty minutes, so I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay mom," Quinn said, "I love you."

"I love you too Quinnie. Be safe."

"I always am," Quinn protested, "I still have that pepper spray you gave me, it's in my purse."

"No, Quinn." Judy said, "Be safe with your heart."

* * *

Rachel woke up on her stomach, face in the pillow snoring, and still in her little black dress and heels. She groaned and rolled onto her side, Sara was already gone for the day and that didn't surprise her. It was already noon, and Rachel had already missed her first class. She decided to take a mental health day; it was a Friday, and she needed an extra-long weekend.

Rachel forced herself out of bed, kicked of her heels, and made her way to the shower. She belted out The Last Goodbye and let the steam clean her pours, which were probably still clogged with mascara from her emotional meltdown in the cab the night before.

She wrapped herself in her towel and strutted around the empty room singing her heart away, looking for her fluffiest, comfiest sweat pants. Instead to her delight, she found something even better. Quinn's Yale sweatshirt and her This Loud Morning CD were stuffed under the small dresser in the corner of the room.

"Jason." Rachel huffed and cursed the boy for hiding her favorite things. Rachel stripped herself of her towel and threw on the sweatshirt without a bra, her comfiest Hello Kitty underwear, and a pair of dance spanks. Rachel flopped on the bed holding the CD and smiled widely. She smelled the sweatshirt, and frowned. It didn't smell like Quinn anymore. It smelled like laundry detergent and dust, instead of cherries, vapor rub, and vanilla like it should have. Rachel didn't care, she was just glad she had it once again and it was keeping her warm. She would have rather had Quinn keeping her warm, but that was the closest most convenient piece of her that she had; that, and the CD.

Rachel took the country CD out of her laptop and tossed it onto the floor carelessly, and put the David Cook CD in its place. She smiled triumphantly and played Fade into Me. Ever since she'd read Quinn's paper, the only thing Rachel could think of when she heard the song was the first night they ever spent together.

_"All I feel now is the weight of the day_

_I need you with me to push it away_

_When we disappear into each other_

_Our colors appear and bleed into one"_

Rachel cried before the first chorus even began, overwhelmed by confusing emotions and memories of Quinn. She sang along and stared at the screen expectantly, waiting for a reply.

* * *

Quinn walked into the closest Starbucks with her new Dell, still in the package. She thanked god that the coffee shop wasn't loud and busy, because her head was still ringing after her night of drinking.

The laptop was exactly the same as her old one, so Quinn quickly got it started up and connected to the Starbucks Wi-Fi. She opened an internet tab and opened Facebook. Quinn wasn't expecting any messages, but when she saw one unread message and who it was from her heart fluttered. Quinn quickly plugged her headphones into the jack on the side of the computer and clicked on Rachel's video message. It was dark, fuzzy, and Rachel looked miserable. Quinn's heart broke as she watched the tired, confused, emotional mess try to work the webcam.

_"Hi Quinn,"_ Rachel said to the camera, _"I know it's late and I understand if you don't reply right away…but that doesn't mean I don't expect a reply because I do. And if I don't get one I will get on a train and kick your butt."_ Quinn laughed along with Rachel on the video. _"Anyway…I don't really know what to say to you. Quinn, I love you with all my heart. I just don't know if I can love you like you love me. I'm really scared that if I take that jump and tell you I love you more than I do, I'll disappoint you. And I'm still dating Jason. I don't know how long that will last but, I really think I love him too. I just need time to make up my mind. And please don't hate me if I choose him. No matter what I decide, I'm going to need a best friend. I can't stop thinking about you, you know. I miss you every second I don't get to see you or talk to you. I lost your Yale sweatshirt…and This Loud Morning. I'm sure they're around here somewhere, but they make me feel so much better when everything else is falling apart. I wish I had given you something to make you feel better when I'm not around to comfort you. Maybe I'll give you one of my stuffed animals; I know you're very fond of the platypus."_ Quinn laughed and imagined what Angie would say if she brought home a stuffed platypus._ "I should probably go,"_ Rachel said on the video. _"I just want you to know regardless of what kind of love it is, I love you with all my heart and I can't wait until I see you again. And remember, if the sun stops burning and the world stops turning I'll be right here with you. Bye."_

Quinn wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and closed the video. How could Rachel be such a mess, but still know exactly what to say? Quinn thought. She closed the laptop and plugged her headphones into her iPod. She grabbed mocha on the way out, turned the volume up all the way, and slowly made her way back to her dorm to the tune of her own personal lullaby.

_"This is no escape_

_This is no surrender, my dear._

_This is my parade_

_My happy ever after_

_But only if you're here."_


	7. Time Marches On

**_I never thought I'd see myself down here,_**

**_In the same damn place with a different year._**

Quinn's hair blew in the light, cool summer breeze as she rode her bike to her first new class of the school year. She couldn't believe it, a sophomore in college. It all went so fast, especially after she told Rachel how she felt. After that, she felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she was finally able to enjoy life. Of course, her family and some of her friends still had no idea that she was a lesbian, but for now Rachel knew and that was good enough for her.

They hadn't spoken much since it happened, but Quinn didn't mind. She knew first-hand how difficult it could be to come to terms with sexuality, and she didn't need to rush Rachel. Quinn knew when the time came Rachel would come to her and tell her exactly how she felt, and would probably use diagrams to explain, because it was Rachel after all.

It'd been months now, and Quinn did miss her frequent visits to the city to see Rachel. She missed the glow in the girl's eyes when she surprised her, she missed the long meaningful Skype conversations in the early morning hours; but, Quinn knew she'd have those little things back soon enough. There was something deep down inside of Quinn telling her to just keep waiting, and Rachel would come to her.

So that's what she did; waited. Dr. Steinem told her to fight for her, but the opportunity to fight hadn't arisen. What was she going to do, just march up to Jason and punch him in the face? Quinn was a lady; she couldn't punch him for no good reason. So she chose to wait until he deserved it. She didn't know when that would be, or if it would ever happen, but she would cherish the moment if it came along.

Quinn parked her bike outside of the familiar building and locked it. She glanced at her phone to see the time before entering the building and chuckled. Five minutes late, so she was right on time.

"Ah! Tardy again, in true Quinn fashion." Dr. Steinem said as Quinn entered the class room with a triumphant look on her face. "Welcome back!"

"Thanks!" Quinn said and took a seat in the front row, "How was your summer?"

"Not now, dear." The doctor said, "I was trying to teach."

"Oh yeah," Quinn said, "I forgot that's why you're here."

The doctor and the rest of the class laughed. He hushed the students and continued, "As I was saying…"

Quinn automatically zoned out. It wasn't that she wasn't a good student, it was just that she was more of a go home and do the work instead of doing it in class type of student. She pulled out her schedule and began doodling hearts around her classes. Anatomy of the Brain with Dr. Steinem first, then Ethics with Mrs. Crowder, Human Relations with Steinem, Literature and Society with Mr. Kientz, then Studio Art with Ms. Jacobi.

Quinn had never considered taking an art class until that summer when she was registering for her fall classes. She was never against it because she did have a bit of artistic capabilities, but it was never at the top of her list. But since she was Rachel-less for the time being, Quinn decided she needed a creative outlet to keep her busy and keep her mind off of the negatives.

Quinn smiled as she doodled; thinking about how much had changed. Just a year ago she would have fallen apart had she lost Rachel. But now she was playing the role of her own therapist, and no matter what went wrong she could convince herself it would all be okay. And for once, Quinn Fabray was truly happy with the person she was becoming. She only hoped that Rachel was just as happy without her.

* * *

Rachel halfheartedly smiled at her teachers, made small talk with her so-called-friends, and felt obligated to hold Jason's hand as they walked home to their new apartment in The Alfred in the Upper West Side, but she was not happy. She was now a sophomore in college living with her stud of a boyfriend in their brand new apartment, and she should have been ecstatic on her first day of her second year at one of the top performing arts colleges in the world; but she was unbelievably sad.

Rachel couldn't stop thinking about Quinn, but she still hadn't figured out what she wanted out of her relationship with Quinn. Rachel knew she was in love with Quinn, after months of thinking about her feelings she was one hundred percent sure that she was in love with the girl. But what did that mean for them? Did Quinn want to be girlfriends, or just best friends with benefits? Rachel shook the thought away; she couldn't be friends with benefits, she was too classy for that. She could definitely see herself holding Quinn's hand rather than Jason's.

Rachel suddenly remembered that her hand was still awkwardly holding his, and she pulled it away at unexpectedly. "Thanks for walking me." Rachel said disconnectedly as she walked up to the building alone, as she did most days because Jason always made other plans without her. In Rachel's opinion, it felt more like living with a roommate again rather than with a boyfriend.

"Love you babe." Jason said as he watched her walk away.

Rachel hesitated and gulped. "Love you too." She lied.

* * *

Quinn showed up to her Studio Art class, on time for a class for the first time in her entire college life. The giant room, more like a hall than a classroom, had what seemed like a million tall windows on the furthest wall. Around the room were a few easels and large tables, all covered in paint. In the center of the room there was a giant circular rug that covered a majority of the concrete floor. It too was covered in paint, and a few students sat on the rug texting and laying on top of one another. A young lady with light red, wavy hair longer than her lower back stood and walked up to Quinn. Light sprinkles covered her nearly translucent white skin under her bright blue eyes. She was a little taller than Quinn; her long legs covered by a floor length floral print dress.

"Hello!" She said and smiled at Quinn, "and who might you be, stranger?"

"I'm Quinn. Who are you?" Quinn said and couldn't help but smile back at the girl.

"I'm Ms. Jacobi! But you can call me Jen, everyone does." She said, and Quinn's jaw dropped.

"Wait," Quinn stuttered, "you're my teacher? But you're so young and pretty!"

Ms. Jacobi, or 'Jen', blushed. "Oh well thank you dear," she said, "I just graduated a few months ago; Mr. Fickle, who was my teacher for the last five years, he retired. He had to choose someone from the last graduating class to replace him, so here I am!"

Quinn smiled, truly happy for the girl. "That's amazing." She said, "Well, I can't wait to start learning."

Jen laughed. "Okay, obviously you've never taken a Studio Art class here before." She said, "There's not much teaching being done around here. At least not the kind you're probably used to. I'm not going to stand in front of all of you and tell you what to do, Mr. Fickle never did that either. This is just kind of a chill place for all of us hipsters and bohemians to work on our art."

Quinn frowned. "I'm neither of those things; I came to learn how to make art."

Jen smiled sweetly and encouragingly at Quinn. "Don't worry, dear." She said, "Just judging by your outfit and fact that I can hear your iPod playing Florence and The Machine in your backpack I'd say you're a little bit of both. And just because I'm not standing in front of you giving you step by step instructions doesn't mean you don't learn anything. We get kids like you every once in a while who have no idea what they're getting themselves into, and we show them our ways."

Quinn felt relieved. "Thank goodness," she said, "thanks so much."

"No problem!" Jen said and started walking back towards the carpeted area with the others. "Come," she said, "sit!"

Quinn obliged, followed the girl, and sat beside her on the floor. The others, a few boys and one other girl looked at Quinn as if they were trying to classify her as hipster or bohemian too.

"Hipster." The girl finally said.

"No," one of the boys said, "I was going to say bohemian!"

"Ms. Beautiful Blonde Stranger?" Another boy said and looked at Quinn, "What are you?"

Quinn laughed. "I'm Quinn." She said, "I like Nutella and Mumford and Sons just like I'm sure you guys do."

They all burst into laughter. "It's true." The girl said.

One of the boys pulled out a little bag and then a pipe; Quinn's eyes widened in shock. "Is that?"

"Mary Jane?" he said and put the marijuana into the pipe, "Yes it is. Would you like some?"

Quinn shook her head and watched him prepare the pipe intently. A few other girls entered the room and joined the rest on the mat in the middle of the room. One of the girls, a tall brunette with a pixie short hair-cut walked over to Jen, sat on the floor beside her, and quickly gave her a peck on the lips and put her head on the teachers shoulder.

Quinn looked at the two in awe. "Are you two…?"

The two girls smiled at each other and kissed again. Jen turned back to Quinn. "We're in love." she explained, "We're not lesbians. We aren't bisexual, or any variety of those. We just believe that when you love someone it doesn't matter what race, gender, or sexual orientation they are." The girl laughed as she explained. "The day I met Christine, she was just a straight girl from Nevada. We were in this very room, and our eyes just connected. I couldn't take my eyes off of her and she couldn't take her eyes off of me. After the class ended she walked up to me and she said 'Jen, you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my entire life, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't questioning my sexuality just from standing next to you right now. Can I kiss you?' And I said yes, and the rest is history. We've been together for two years now and that's good enough for me." The two girls kissed again, and Quinn stared in shock. The girls didn't know what to think of Quinn's reaction to their story.

"Quinn, I hope you aren't offended by this." Christine said skeptically, "If you are I'm not sure how well you'll fit in here in New York."

"No!" Quinn defended herself, "I'm not offended at all; the exact opposite actually. I thought that story was absolutely beautiful."

They all stared at Quinn again, inspecting her.

"Gay." One of the boys shouted out.

"No, she's bi." One of the girls said.

"She's definitely not straight." Christine said and chuckled.

"You guys are guessing my sexuality now?" Quinn asked and laughed, "You could just ask, you know!"

"Okay, Quinn." One of the boys asked, "What are you?"

"I am unlabeled, but I am head over heels in love with the girl I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, whether her boyfriend likes it or not."

Everyone laughed. Jen put a hand on Quinn's shoulder and smiled fondly at her, "Sounds like you're going to fit in here just fine."

* * *

"Hi, you're home early!" Rachel said and hugged the tall boy who'd just walked through door. It'd been a long, tiring day and Rachel was in the mood to cuddle.

Jason stumbled through the hall and into the bedroom behind Rachel, and the girl sniffed the air around him. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Maybe just a little." He mumbled under his breath.

Rachel sighed and sat on the bed. "This is unacceptable!" She said and gave him a stern look, "I have always made it very clear how much I detest drinking, and I'm not going to be one of those controlling girls who says you can't do it, but could you at least have the respect for me to not come around me like this?"

Jason snorted and sat next to her on the bed sloppily. "I just wanted to see my girlfriend, Jesus!" he slurred, "Come on baby, don't be mad." He whispered into her ear. Rachel could smell the alcohol on his breath, and she felt sick.

"No." she said and backed away, "Not while you're like this. Maybe you would have got some tonight, but I don't give it up for someone who isn't willing to consider my feelings."

"No?" Jason said and chuckled, "I don't think you can say no to me Rachel, I'm not okay with that." He continued to force himself on her. Rachel kicked and yelled, but he wouldn't cut it out. She slapped him across the face, and rolled out from under him. The look of rage and shock on his face after Rachel's hand hit his face would have scared Satan himself.

"I'm sorry." Rachel whispered as she cowered on the floor. He stood and towered over the girl. She grabbed her phone out of the pocket of her dress and began dialing the first number that came to mind. It was 1:34, and she hoped and prayed that Quinn would pick up.

"Who are you calling?" Jason yelled and picked Rachel up by her arm. Rachel cringed and a few tears escaped her eyes.

"Jason if you don't leave I'm calling the police!" she yelled up at him.

He laughed. "You wouldn't do that!" Jason said, "You're too scared!"

Rachel held the phone up to her ear and waited to hear the click of the line picking up. She chewed her lip nervously and paced the apartment, trying to avoid Jason as best as she could in such a small place.

"Come on, Rachel!" he yelled, "You can't get me arrested! I swear to god if you call the cops I'll break up with you! Then who's going to put up with all you're shit? Huh?"

Rachel looked up at him defiantly and stood her ground. "Quinn." She said.

"Hello?" Rachel heard on the other end of the phone.

Rachel gasped for air she didn't know she was missing, and her lip started quivering when she heard the girl's voice.

"Quinn." Rachel said as she crumbled to the floor and cried. She put her face against her knees and covered her free ear with her hand to block out Jason's threats.

"Rachel?" Quinn said, obviously worried and confused. "What's going on over there? Are you okay? Why are you crying?"

Rachel sniffled and sobbed, and Quinn could barely understand her over the screaming in the background. "Quinn I need you! I'm sorry I've been so stupid, and I haven't called! I just really need you to be here with me!"

"Oh, you're talking to her?" Quinn could hear Jason's voice through the line.

"Jason, calm down! Just go outside and get some air! You're acting crazy!"

Suddenly, Rachel's voice cut off. Quinn heard the phone crack on the other end, then static, and then silence. Quinn bolted out of bed where she was still lying. She threw on a pair of sweats and boots, and threw pants and shoes onto Angie asleep on her bed as well.

Angelina groaned and rolled over. "What are you doing, bitch?" she groggily asked.

"Get up and get dressed." Quinn demanded, her voice shaky and anxious. "Rachel just called me."

"Quinn, I am not getting on a train with you to go to New York City at two in the morning for a booty call." Angie whined and stuck her head under the pillow.

"NO!" Quinn yelled, "She's in trouble, stupid. She called and I heard that douche bag boyfriend of hers on the other end yelling at her and then I heard a loud noise and the line went dead! What if she's hurt, it'll be my fault!" Quinn sobbed and Angie shot out of bed and to her side.

Angelina shushed Quinn and held her. "Calm down. It's going to be alright. Let me put my damn shoes on and we'll go."

* * *

Quinn and Angie spent nearly an hour searching for the apartment building with no luck. By the time they'd got into the city it was three in the morning and by the time Quinn called Rachel it was closer to four.

"Hello?" Rachel said on the other end of the phone; the tone in her voice just about shattered Quinn's heart.

"Rachel, baby, where are you?" Quinn asked desperately, "We're outside of the building but I'm not going in there, if I do I think I'll kill that son of a bitch."

"I'm in the lobby bathroom, I'll be right there." Rachel stuttered.

"Don't hang up." Quinn demanded.

"Why?" Rachel asked, "I'll be out there in just a few seconds."

"I don't care," Quinn said, "I'm not letting you go until I see you."

"Okay." Rachel gave in. Quinn listened to her sniffle before she heard a door open. A few steps against hard tile and another door opening, and there she was. Rachel couldn't help but just stare at Quinn for a moment or two. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to have a guardian angel so stunningly beautiful. Quinn's mouth gaped at the sight of Rachel; normally Quinn would have been gapping at her beauty, and not the giant bruise beginning to form around her eye. Rachel ran to Quinn to hug her and Quinn walked right past her and towards the door of the building.

"WHERE IS HE?" Quinn screamed as Angelina held her back, "WHERE IS THAT SON OF A BITCH? I'M GONNA KILL HIM!"

"Quinn, stop!" Rachel pleaded as she stepped in front of the girl. Quinn couldn't even look at Rachel's face without cringing away. She let her guard down, and Angie let go of her arms.

"I could have stopped this." Quinn said, ashamed of herself. "I was so concerned about giving you time to think things through I didn't even realize what he was doing to you."

"Quinn, please don't beat yourself up about this." Quinn winced at the expression, but Rachel didn't seem to notice. "This is the first time this has ever happened," Rachel explained, "he was drunk and stupid. It won't happen again."

Quinn looked at her angrily. "If it does I'll-"

"I know you will." Rachel said quietly. Quinn shuddered, she couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling that Rachel wasn't telling her something.

"What's really going on?" Quinn asked.

Rachel looked down at her hands and began to cry. "I'm moving back home."

Quinn stared at her in shock. "You can't." she said, "Rachel, this is your dream. You're here. You can't turn around now and leave this all behind because of one douchebag. Do you have any idea how many Jasons' there are in the world? Tons. You can't let them do this to you, you can't leave me here Rachel. It was supposed to be the two of us out here against the world. That's how it's always supposed to have been." Quinn started crying and Rachel took Quinn's hand and laced the girl's fingers between hers.

"I called my dads," Rachel said quietly, "they put money into my account for a plane ticket. I just wanted someone to go to the airport with me. I'm kind of on edge right now and I don't want to be alone, and I just really wanted to see you again and say goodbye."

Quinn nodded understandingly, and turned to Angelina. "Angie, I don't want to ditch you but."

"No, go." Angie said, "I'll be waiting for you in the dorm later. Be careful."

"Thanks, Ang." Quinn said and gave the girl a quick hug.

"Of course," Angie said and hugged her back, "and YOU," she said and pointed at Rachel, "I'm gonna miss you and your cute butt hanging around here."

Rachel weakly smiled, "I'm going to miss you too." She admitted.

Angie hailed a cab and waved goodbye to the girls as she hopped in. Quinn grabbed a cab for the two of them right after Angie took off, and they slipped in.

"JFK, please." Quinn said to the driver as Rachel tucked herself against the taller blonde. The driver glanced in the mirror, and then took a double-take.

"Hey, I know you!" he said as he began driving.

Quinn looked at him oddly, "I don't think you know me?" she said skeptically.

"No not you," he said, "the little one."

Rachel lifted her head from Quinn's shoulder to look at the man and she smiled. "You do know me."

"So this must be her, huh?" he asked, and Rachel nodded proudly. "Good riddance," the man said, "she's much better than that rude punk you was with before. And much prettier."

Quinn smiled, but she had no idea what was going on. "Just go with it," Rachel whispered into her ear, "he's a fan of yours."

* * *

The girls waved goodbye to the cabbie as they walked into JFK. It was already 6:30 am, and the airport was busy already. Quinn bought herself some food as Rachel paid for a ticket on the soonest flight to Dayton International Airport in Ohio. The flight wouldn't be leaving until 7:45, and Rachel was glad; this meant she had plenty of time to catch up with Quinn.

Rachel took a seat beside Quinn in the emptiest row of seats in the area. Quinn handed her a giant pretzel, a bag of ice, and a pair of sunglasses. Rachel took a bite of the pretzel and tilted her head at the other two objects.

"What's this for?" Rachel asked. Quinn pointed at her eye, and Rachel understood. "Oh." She said, and felt stupid.

Quinn put her hand on Rachel's leg and traced circles on her knee slowly as Rachel finished eating her pretzel. Rachel got chills up her spine at Quinn's touch, and she knew that it was time to talk.

"Quinn?" Rachel said. Quinn glanced up at Rachel from under the blonde strands of stray hair in her eyes.

"Yes, Rachel?" she replied.

"Can we talk?" Rachel asked.

Quinn smiled softly, "Of course."

"Well," Rachel said quietly, aware of all the other bodies around, "I just wanted you to know how grateful I am that you're here and that you showed up for me."

Quinn shook her head. "That's not what you wanted to say." Quinn said.

Rachel sighed. "No, it's not." She admitted, "It's just so loud in here, there has to be somewhere more private where we can go to talk about this."

Quinn looked around for any quiet sanctuary, and then she found it. The Aeronuova sign caught her eye and she smiled. "I'm taking you out to dinner." Quinn said and stood up. She held her hand out for Rachel to take it.

Rachel smiled bashfully and giggled. "Quinn it's breakfast time." She said.

"Well," Quinn said as she gently took the other girls hand and held it in her own, "you know how they always say that the sense of time in a mall is so out of whack that it's almost in its own time zone? My mom used to always say the same thing about airports. So for all you know, it could be dinner time as far as airport time is concerned. And as far as my stomach is concerned, it is most certainly dinner time."

Rachel couldn't help but smile and laugh at Quinn's charm as she swung their hands between them as they walked to the restaurant. A server greeted them as they entered the empty restaurant.

"Do you have any preference on seating?" she asked as she picked up two menus.

Rachel nodded to Quinn. "Yes," Quinn said, "just somewhere secluded where we can talk." The server nodded, and she walked them to a table in the furthest corner of the room. The girls thanked her as she walked off, and they took seats across from each other at the table.

Rachel batted her eyes at Quinn, who nearly fainted. "Why do you always do that to me?" Quinn said, and Rachel looked down guiltily, remembering all the times Jason had said the same thing to her.

"I'm sorry." Rachel apologized.

Quinn giggled. "Don't apologize." She said, "It's not your fault you're so beautiful. I'm going to have to blame Shelby and your dads for that one."

Rachel laughed. "Could you imagine?" she said, "'Mr. Berry's, my name is Quinn Fabray and I may have to sue you because your daughter's beauty is causing me trauma.' They would think that is hysterical."

Quinn laughed with Rachel. "I like hearing you laugh again." Quinn said, "I'd much rather hear that than hear you cry."

Rachel frowned and looked down at her hands. "I've been doing that a lot lately."

"Look at me." Quinn said. Rachel obliged, and Quinn flinched as she looked at the bruising around Rachel's eye. "Come here." Quinn said and grabbed the makeshift ice pack off of the table. Rachel leaned forward across the small table and Quinn held the ice up to her face. Rachel shivered when the ice first hit her skin, but then melted into Quinn's touch.

"That feels so nice," Rachel sighed, "I have the worst headache."

"I can imagine." Quinn said angrily. "God, I could kill that Jason guy right now."

"No," Rachel stopped her, "I don't want to talk about him. I want to talk about us."

Quinn took a deep breath and reached across the table with her free hand to grab Rachel's hand again. "Okay," Quinn said, "where do we start." Both girls were silent for a moment, not knowing what to say.

Rachel broke the silence a few minutes later. "I'm going to be very blunt, Quinn." She said slowly, "I am very in love with you. I don't know what that means, or what my intentions are in this relationship, all I know is above and beyond all I need my best friend."

Quinn searched for air, but somehow her lungs couldn't do it. She couldn't believe it, had Rachel really just said she was in love with her? "Do you mean that?" Quinn finally asked.

"Yes." Rachel said surely, "I'm surer about this than I have ever been about anything else in my whole life. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out."

"I love you so much Rachel," Quinn said breathlessly, "and you have no idea what it means to me to hear you say the words back to me."

"Can I take you're orders now ladies?" the server came back at the most inconvenient time, but the girls just smiled and nodded.

"I'll take the salad and bread sticks, and coffee please." Rachel said and handed her menu back.

"Same." Quinn said and handed back her menu as well, and the waitress was gone again. Quinn took the ice away from Rachel's face, and leaned across the table to ever so gently kiss Rachel's cheek directly under her eye where the bruise was forming. "There," Quinn said, "all better."

Rachel blushed and smiled. "Have I ever told you how much you love it when you kiss me like that."

Quinn's eyes met Rachel's in a searing gaze. "Really?" Quinn asked, mesmerized by Rachel's eyes.

"Absolutely." Rachel said seriously.

Quinn hesitated and fidgeted with the fork beside her plate. "Have you ever wished that I would kiss you on the lips?" Quinn asked tentatively.

Rachel smiled. "A few times, actually." She admitted, "Even before I knew how you felt about me. I've never kissed a girl before, you know; and all us girls get curious sometimes."

Quinn shyly looked around. "I've never kissed a girl before either." She whispered.

Rachel's jaw dropped in shock. "You're kidding?" she said, "But you're gay!"

Quinn blushed and glanced around in embarrassment. "Yeah, but you're the only girl I've ever liked. I've never been interested in kissing a girl other than you and I never thought that was an option."

Rachel smiled flirtatiously and leaned even closer to Quinn across the table. "Well, now's your chance." Rachel said as she moved slowly towards Quinn's lips.

"Okay! Two coffees!" the server called out happily, and Rachel pulled herself away from Quinn.

"Thanks!" Quinn said quickly, hoping the woman would just disappear if she sounded desperate enough.

"I'll be back soon with your food!" She added as she walked away.

"No rush!" Rachel replied as she took a sip of her coffee, and Quinn huffed because her lips could have been as lucky as that coffee mug.

Rachel smiled as she teased Quinn, licking the rim of the cup. "You can still kiss me if you want." Rachel said.

"Really?" Quinn asked happily. Rachel smiled widely and nodded, leaning over the table towards Quinn once again. Quinn leaned into the table to reach Rachel and pressed her lips to the other girls. They just barely touched at first, very gently, until Rachel felt it; the magnet. Something sprung inside her that told her this was the most important moment in her entire life so far, and there would be so many more if she stayed with this girl. Rachel slid her hand behind Quinn's neck and pulled her in closer.

Quinn couldn't believe it. Her senses were going wild, everything tingling and on fire. She couldn't believe she'd waited so many years to feel such a thing, but it was worth the wait. Rachel was well worth the wait.


	8. Rapid Eye Movement

**_Give me one more quiet night, _**

**'_Fore this loud morning gets it right and does me in,_**

**_Does this story have an ending?_**

Quinn and Rachel walked hand in hand to the terminal where the plane that would take Rachel home was about to begin boarding. The terminal was quickly filling up with passengers, but Rachel didn't want to let go of Quinn's hand.

She squeezed the blondes hand tighter. "Go with me." Rachel begged, "Let's go back."

Quinn slipped her hand out of Rachel's. "I can't," she said, "I love it too much here. I need to stay and finish out school, and then I'll go wherever you want to take me. Can you wait for me?"

Rachel paused. "I hope so." She said quietly.

Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and pulled her in. Rachel put her arms around Quinn's neck and buried her face in the girl's neck. "I love you with all my heart, Rachel Berry." Quinn said as she held the girl in her arms.

"I love you too, Quinn Fabray." Rachel said quietly. She lifted her head from Quinn's shoulder and quickly kissed her perfect lips. They let go of each other and Rachel started slowly walking towards the terminal with her small carry-on bag.

"I guess this is goodbye?" Quinn said achingly, as if the few feet between them were too far.

"I guess it is." Rachel said, the same pain in her voice as Quinn. She watched as Rachel walked away into the crowd, and the little girl slowly disappeared.

* * *

The next few months that passed felt like a dream to Quinn, or more like a nightmare. All her days were spent going through the same motions. Wake up, dress, go to school, think about Rachel throughout all her classes, and then spend hours in the corner of the art room painting.

Jen couldn't help but notice Quinn's pain, but she didn't ask. She just helped her through it by giving her basic painting tips every so often. Quinn didn't really have a natural artistic talent, it was going to take quite a bit of effort to get anywhere with her painting. At first she just splattered paint on the canvas in frustration, until Jen helped her out.

"Don't just project how you're feeling like that." She told Quinn, "Close your eyes, picture what you're feeling, and put it on the canvas."

Quinn did as she was told, and pictured what she was feeling. Finally, she had her inspiration. After a few hours, she had an abstract outline of Rachel's face surrounded by lyrics. "If the world stops turning, and the sun stops burning I'll be right here with you."

Jen walked up behind her and smiled like a proud mother. "Now THAT is what I was talking about." Jen said. "You said you've never painted before until this class?"

"Never." Quinn said.

"Keep it up and you'll be better than most of us who've been doing this our entire lives." Jen told her as she walked away."

Quinn listened to what the girl said, and continued to paint. Every day she took her frustration and longing and put it on the canvas or in her writing. Her art began to flourish, and her dorm room began to fill with composition books and paintings. Angie got frustrated with the small space of the dorm, but didn't have the heart to tell her friend to stop doing what she loved in her desperate times; so she started looking for a studio apartment for the two of them.

About halfway through the semester, Angie found the perfect apartment at an affordable price. Her part-time job at the school as a math tutor wouldn't completely cover their bills, though. She asked Quinn to start selling some of her paintings, and Quinn agreed. She sent some of her paintings off to a local gallery; they sold all five within a week, and then came back to Quinn begging for more. Quinn kept her favorite paintings, the ones that she painted of Rachel or the lyrics that made her heart hurt because they made her think of the girl so much. The apartment was quickly filled with Quinn's art, and so was the gallery down the street. They could have practically renamed the gallery after her considering how much of her art they sold, and both they and Quinn were reaping the profits.

Quinn should have been happy, she should have been more than happy actually. Her career as a young artist was beginning to make buzz not only in New Haven, but up in the city too. Her life was only just beginning and as far as everyone around her was concerned, her future was looking quite bright. But she couldn't get Rachel off her mind.

When she was invited to dinners with other artists or classmates, she always kindly declined. One night, Angelina came home to the apartment where Quinn was hanging up more pictures around the kitchen.

"What is wrong with you?" Angie asked and set her purse on the counter.

"What do you mean what is wrong with me?" Quinn said innocently, but she knew what Angie meant.

"Why do you sit around and mope all the time?" She said in frustration, "You're young, talented, and hot! Go out and have some fun!"

Quinn sighed. "I just don't want to go out and party. I like my quiet life where I can be alone and think about things all day long."

"No. You don't think about things, you think about Rachel." Angie said, and she hit the nail right on the head. "You know it's true, Quinn. Don't try and deny it."

Quinn was silent. She set down the painting she was attempting to hang and sat on the counter. Angie hopped up on the counter next to her and sat. "I know you miss her," She said to Quinn, "but you've got to go out and live. You'll get her back, I promise; but you know she wouldn't want you sitting around and moping all damn day. She would want you to be happy."

Quinn nodded and let a few tears go that she'd been trying to hold back all night. Thinking of Rachel all the time was starting to wear on her. "She hasn't called me since the day after she left." Quinn explained, "She said she just needs time at home to heel."

"Of course she does," Angie said, "think of all the crap she's been through! I'd drop out of school and out of society too! But I'm sure that when the time comes, both of you will be together and happy again. Something will happen and you'll have to come to her rescue just like you always do because you love her."

Quinn smiled. "Yeah, I do."

"Well, now that that is settled," Angie said, "what do you want to do now?"

Quinn stopped and thought for a moment. "I want to call my mom."

Angie looked at her, dumbfounded. "Really?" she said, "After my awesome pep talk to get you out of this sorry ass depression you're in, you're going to call your mom?"

"Yep!" Quinn said as she grabbed her phone off the counter.

"But I wanted to take you out to party!" Angelina whined.

"Weren't you just out partying before you came home?" Quinn asked and giggled.

"Yeah, but that's beside the point." Angie stuttered, "I wanted to force you to go with me."

Quinn laughed at the frustrated girl. "Tomorrow night." She agreed as she put the phone to her ear. Angie walked out of the room, middle finger held up to Quinn as she left.

"Hello?" Judy said when she picked up the phone after only a few rings.

Quinn sighed, a wave of relief washing over her as she smiled. "Hi mom." She said.

"Hi sweetie!" Judy said ecstatically, "How are you? How are you're paintings going? Are they selling? Tell me all about it!"

Quinn laughed and looked down at the painting on the counter beside her of an abstract ocean beach with the words "Like an ocean, I feel you crash over me" written in the clouds. "It's going great, mom." She said, "They're selling like crazy, everyone loves them. They're even asking to put them in a gallery up in New York City. I have fun doing it, and it pays the bills and puts food on the table; and keeping food on the table in this house is a tall order to fill with Angie living here."

"I heard that!" Angie yelled to Quinn from the other room. The blonde and her mother laughed.

"That's great, Quinnie." Her mother said, "But how are you?"

Quinn sighed. "I'm just lost." She admitted. "I'm successful in everything I'm doing right now, except when it matters."

"What do you mean?" Judy asked, confused.

"Well," Quinn began not knowing where to start, "can I be really honest with you?"

"Of course," Judy said, "I expect that of you Quinn."

"Okay," Quinn took a deep breath and let it all out, "please don't hate me for this. I think I'm in love with Rachel. Actually, I know I am; I have been since I was fourteen. I told her and she loves me too, but she moved back to Lima and now I never hear from her. I'm afraid that she's running away from me because she's afraid she's going to disappoint me, but she's not; if anything I'm going to disappoint her because she is way too good for me. I can't stop thinking about her, and she's my inspiration for all my paintings. She's the one who made me this way so I could be this successful, I just wish I could make her this happy but I keep failing her. Have you seen her? How is she?"

Judy was silent for a moment, absorbing what her daughter had just admitted. "Quinn. Thank you." She finally said, "I always knew you liked Rachel; I've known about that since your sophomore year of high school when I dropped you off for cheer practice one day and she was standing outside of the library. She bent over to grab her binder off the ground and your eyes nearly popped right out of their sockets. If you've always been that obvious with your ogling I'm surprised it has taken her this long to figure it out."

Quinn blushed and buried her face in her hands. "That is so embarrassing," she said and laughed, "I can't believe you saw that."

"Oh I didn't see nearly as much as you saw." Judy said and chuckled, "Rachel's skirts are SHORT. Does she still wear those?"

"Yep." Quinn said.

"Well then, I guess I can see why you'd still be interested then." Judy said and laughed, "I'm only kidding."

"So…you aren't mad or disappointed that I'm…gay?" Quinn asked.

"Absolutely not," Her mother said, "I'm not your father. I'm just glad you were honest with me and that you trust me enough to tell me these things."

Quinn sighed in relief. "Thanks mom." She said.

Judy hesitated for a second. "Quinn, honey; I need to be honest with you too." She said, "I don't want to break your heart any more than it's been broken, but you need to be in the know if you love Rachel as much as you say you do."

"What do you mean?" Quinn asked.

"Rachel has a boyfriend." She said.

Quinn laughed. "No she doesn't, mom." She said, "She just left her boyfriend. That's why she's back in Lima in the first place."

"Well, he's here." Judy said slowly, hoping not to upset Quinn; it was no use. Quinn saw red.

"What do you mean he's there?" She yelled, "He's in Lima with Rachel?"

Judy sighed. "Quinn, calm down and think about this rationally." She said and explained, "Hiram and Leroy invited me over for dinner last week, and I met the young man. He is very handsome, and he seemed polite enough." Judy said skeptically.

"He's not." Quinn spat, "He's an evil manipulative bastard!"

Judy shushed her daughter. "Okay Quinn," she said soothingly, "I'm sure you know more than I do. I have to admit, when I looked at the two of them together it reminded me of your father and I as teens. I'm a little scared for Rachel."

Quinn took in a deep jagged breath. "So am I, mom." She said.

"Quinnie, I hate to do this after dropping a bombshell like this on you," Judy said, "but I have to go. I'm hosting the church brunch tomorrow morning. But you'll be home for Thanksgiving this week, right?"

"Definitely."


	9. Goodbye to the Girl

**_Paint another picture black and blue,_**

**_Take another moment one or two,_**

**_Just to get over you._**

Quinn and Angelina struggled to carry their bags through the noisy crowds of Dayton International Airport in Ohio. Quinn scanned the crowds until she found the person she was looking for.

"Mom!" She yelled, dropped her bags, and ran to Judy who instantly began to cry.

"Oh Quinnie! I've missed you!" She said, "I can't believe it's been a little over a year since I've seen my baby girl! You're hair hasn't got any longer, but I think you got taller! Have you been eating enough, you look too skinny!"

"She's been eating plenty," Angie groaned as she carried both hers and Quinn's abandoned bags, "I on the other hand could use something to eat after playing pack mule for this girl for the last two days."

Judy smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry, who are you?" she asked as politely as she could.

Quinn laughed and introduced the two. "Mom, this is the Angelina you've been hearing so much about; and Angie this is my mom."

"Oh!" Judy said excitedly as she hugged the other girl, "I've heard so much about you that you could practically be my second daughter!"

Angie smiled and hugged the woman back. "Thanks Mrs. Fabray." She said.

Judy giggled. "Oh, no need for formalities, Hun. Just call me Judy."

"Alright, Judy." Angie said, "Thanks for letting me be a part of your holiday celebrations. My family went to the Bahamas for the week and forgot to invite me, so my options were Lima with Quinn or Yale alone."

"Oh, I couldn't let you be alone during the holidays!" Judy said, "Our home is your home, so when we get there make yourself comfortable."

"Can I eat as much as I want?" Angie asked excitedly.

Judy laughed. "Angie, it's almost thanksgiving. I'd be offended if you didn't eat as much as you want."

* * *

Angie sat on the floor surrounded by empty cartons of Goldfish and Oreos, bread crumbs, and soda cans. "Quinn. I love your mom; and your pantry. Can I stay here forever?"

Quinn laughed as she mindlessly flipped the TV to SpongeBob. "I'm sure my mother wouldn't mind. She seems to love you." She said.

"I can't wait until Thursday!" Angie said and moaned, "Turkey! Ham! Mashed potatoes!"

Quinn laughed and watched her friend writhe in ecstasy on the floor. "Are you having a food seizure?" she asked.

"I think so." Angie said, "Somebody get me chicken wings, stat."

They both burst into laughter. Judy walked into the room and looked at the two hysterical girls watching SpongeBob. She gave them a muddled look. "Is this a bad time?" she asked, "Should I come back later?"

The girls calmed their laughing and Judy sat on the couch beside her daughter. "So," she said and looked seriously at Quinn, "when are you going to go see Rachel."

Quinn audibly gulped. "I don't know." She admitted.

"Let's go over there right now!" Angie said excitedly, "I have a few choice words for that son of a-"she stopped and looked at Judy, "bad, bad person."

Quinn laughed. "I can't just barge into her house and punch him in the face. Her dads probably don't even know what he did to her if they're allowing him to stay in their house."

Judy looked confused and concerned. "What did he do to her?"

Quinn and Angie looked at each other skeptically before Quinn spoke. "He hit her."

Quinn slowly backed away from Judy. The look on her face was the same look she gave Quinn when she was five and she knocked her most expensive porcelain vase off the mantle because she was playing in the house when she wasn't supposed to be. It was the same look that she gave Quinn when she cut off all her hair, dyed it pink, and got a tattoo. It was a look of pure rage that could have scared the Terminator, Osama Bin Laden if he were still alive, or even Tim Tebow.

"Quinn, Angie, go get in the car. We're going to make a visit to the Berry home."

* * *

Judy drove like a bat out of hell down the icy roads, and Quinn's fingernails dug into the dashboard.

"Mom!" Quinn yelled, "Slow down!"

"No way!" Angie said, "This is awesome! I feel like I'm in Grand Theft Auto! Keep it going, Judy!"

"I can't believe you didn't tell me before!" Judy said, frustrated, "Poor Rachel! I refuse to let such a sweet thing go through what I had to go through with your father! It's not fair and we're going to stop it right here and right now!"

Judy whipped into the driveway of the Berry home. Quinn looked at the time on her cell phone. It was 8:24, and she hoped that they would be home still. The three women stormed up to the door, Judy leading the pack. She banged on the door three times. Hiram opened the door quickly and smiled.

"Why hello, wonderful Fabray women and beautiful friend!" he said cheerily, "Quinn, how are you my dear?" He wrapped Quinn under his arm and led the women inside where Leroy was sitting on the couch.

"Hello dearies!" Leroy said and stood to greet them. Judy was not pleased; she sat down in the arm chair with discontent and looked at the men seriously.

"Hiram, Leroy, sit down please." She said. They both looked at Judy concerned, Hiram grabbed his husband's hands, and they sat.

Quinn and Angie took seats beside the men awkwardly. "Rachel has something to tell you," Judy said, "it's about Rachel's boyfriend."

Quinn looked anxiously at the men, then back at her hands, and then at the men once again. "He's not a good person." Quinn said quietly, "He hasn't been good to Rachel. Angie and I had to take a train to go get Rachel at two in the morning so I could take her to an airport because he hurt her."

Hiram sighed. "Jason did hurt her, but so has everyone else. Rachel is so emotional and sensitive, it's impossible to not hurt her. The keepers are the ones who love her enough to come back around even after they've hurt her, and he did. He came to the door with white roses and sang to her. It was so romantic and wonderful; all that was missing was a white stallion!"

Quinn shook her head. "No, not hurt her like that. I mean, obviously he hurt Rachel emotionally; and her being sensitive doesn't make it okay that he hurt her. What I meant is he hit her. Didn't you two see the bruise on her face when she came home?"

Leroy shook his head at Quinn. "No, Rachel just hit her face on the door when she was leaving her apartment because she was so upset."

Quinn looked at the men dumbfounded. "NO." Quinn said certainly, "I was on the phone with Rachel while they were fighting. I heard him do it. I saw her right after it happened!"

"It's true," Angie said, "I was with her."

Hiram looked at Quinn seriously. "Are you absolutely sure, my dear. This is very serious. I don't want to force Rachel away from this boy if she really likes him unless you're absolutely sure of this. I will not allow my daughter to be in an abusive relationship."

"She is absolutely sure, and so am I; and I won't stand for it either." Judy agreed, "I refuse to let a young beautiful girl like Rachel go through what I went through with Russell. The only good that came out of that was my amazing Quinn, but that's it."

Hiram nodded and squeezed Leroy's hand. "I think we need to talk to our baby girl about her new beau. He may not be the great man we thought he was."

Leroy squeezed his husbands hand back. "I agree. Let's call her."

Quinn finally noticed that Rachel and Jason were nowhere to be found. "Where is Rachel anyway?" she asked.

"She's out with Jason." Leroy replied as he quickly dialed Rachel's number. Hiram took the phone from his husband's hands and held it up to his ear.

"Rachel!" he said into the line.

"Hi, dad!" Rachel whispered through the phone, "We're at the movies right now, I have to go."

"Yeah," Hiram agreed. "You do need to go. You and Jason need to leave the theater right now and get back here. He has some explaining to do." The man hung up on his daughter and threw the phone on the couch next to him.

"There!" he said. "I bet they'll be back here in less than ten minutes!"

Quinn frowned and looked down at the floor. "What's wrong dear?" Leroy said and put a hand on her knee.

"I just don't want Rachel to be mad at me for telling you all." Quinn said ashamed.

"Don't worry about that." Hiram said, "You did the right thing. You would have done the wrong thing if you had kept it from us and something else happened to her." Quinn shuddered at the thought. Since she saw the bruise on Rachel's face that early morning, she promised herself that she would never let Rachel get hurt again.

"I'm going to be blatantly honest here," Angie said, "I'm still hungry. My hunger turns into rage, and I'm already pissed off. I think if I don't eat something before they get here I might kick that Jason guy in the family jewels."

Quinn couldn't help but laugh. Hiram looked at the girl curiously. "Who are you again?" he asked.

Judy smiled at her new favorite adopted daughter. "This is Angelina," she said, "she's Quinn's roommate at Yale; and boy can she eat."

"I would have never known judging by your looks!" Leroy said, "You look like a young Olivia Wilde, you know, when she was on The O.C. and she was blonde."

"Yes!" Hiram said, "I agree! A+ assumption, Leroy!"

"Oh hell yes!" Angie said triumphantly, "Olivia Wilde is a babe!"

"Well, young Olivia," Leroy said, "would you like to see the kitchen?"

"Oh, of course Mr. Berry!" she said and jumped off the couch faster than the speed of light. Hiram and the Fabray girls laughed as they watched the two talk animatedly about food as they walked down the hall and into the kitchen.

"So," Hiram turned and looked to Quinn, "I heard you are in love with my daughter."

Quinn nearly choked as he said the words. Where was the air she was clearly breathing only a few seconds before? "What?" Quinn managed to say.

"Oh don't worry sweetie, I don't judge- obviously." He said, "She told me quite a while ago. I thought it was quite cute, and she seemed to be very interested in you from the sound of it; which is why I didn't understand why she would bring a boy home for the holidays instead of you. To be honest Leroy and I started placing bets on when you two would finally tell us you were dating."

Judy gasped. "I am offended!" she said, "Why was I not in on this?"

Hiram laughed. "Judy my dear, I don't believe you have a gaydar strong enough to bet with the big dogs like us."

Judy pouted and Quinn laughed, until she heard the front door open noisily.

"What's going on?" Rachel said as she burst through the door with Jason trailing behind. She looked to the couch where her father and Quinn sat, and she froze.

"Quinn," she said breathlessly, "oh my god I've missed you!" Quinn stood and Rachel ran straight into her arms. Rachel clutched Quinn as if her life depended on it; the blonde looked over Rachel's shoulder angrily, staring down Jason. Quinn squeezed the girl, buried her face in Rachel's hair, and just took in everything that was Rachel Barbra Berry.

They didn't break the embrace until Judy cleared her throat and Jason began getting fussy.

"What the hell is going on here?" he complained, "We can't even go out on one date without a problem, come on!"

Leroy came back in the room as he heard the boy yelling, Angie followed close behind with a tuber wear container of lasagna. "What is all the ruckus?" Leroy said.

"Jason," Rachel said calmly, "sit down." The boy groaned but indulged her and took a seat next to Judy.

Judy gave Jason a cross look and scooted away. "Rachel dear," she said, "you should take a seat too."

Rachel looked around the full room with no sitting space. She walked over to Quinn and sat on the small space on the couch next to her, practically on top of the girl. Quinn smiled at Rachel, and Rachel smiled back twice as wide.

"Okay!" Hiram began, "Let this intervention begin!"

Jason's eyes shot up. "Intervention?" he said.

"Yes." Leroy said, "We heard you hurt our baby girl, and not just mentally. We heard that that bruise on her face was your doing. Is that true?"

Rachel looked frantically at Quinn. "You told them?" she whispered.

"Of course I did, I care about you and I didn't want you getting hurt." Quinn whispered back.

"Look, Leroy and Hiram, I never touched Rachel-" Jason began to defend himself but Rachel cut him off.

"Yes you did, you dirty liar!" Quinn yelled, "I was on the phone with her when it happened! Do you remember that or were you too drunk?"

Jason quickly stood and was in front of Quinn. Quinn stood her ground and got in his face. The two yelled over each other and everyone in the room tried yelling over them to keep the peace. Rachel held Quinn back, who was trying to claw at Jason; Judy and Angie tried to hold back Jason, who they were afraid was going to hurt Quinn; Hiram stood there amused, just screaming "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Leroy had enough of the madness, and called his home to order.

"ENOUGH!" He yelled, "Everyone sit down." All the guests and his husband did as they were told. Leroy looked at Jason who was about to take a seat. "Except you!" Leroy said to the boy, "I want you out of my house."

Jason stood and pushed over a table lamp as he left the room and walked up the stairs. Rachel gave her fathers a stern look. "If he's leaving, so am I." She said and followed him out.

Quinn's heart hurt. She just wanted to cuddle Rachel and tell her it would all be okay if she just left him, but it seemed there was no convincing her. Upstairs, the door to Rachel's room slammed and locked. Angie finished off the lasagna and hopped up to put her dishes in the sink. When she returned to the living room the two men who fed her, her newly adopted mother and her best friend were still sitting in sullen silence.

"I have to pee." Angelina said suddenly, "Where is your bathroom, kind sir?"

Leroy numbly pointed up the stairs, and Angie bounced away. She walked down the upstairs hallway and couldn't help but stop and listen in through Rachel's door as the angry couple spoke.

"Look, Rachel," she heard Jason say desperately, "If we leave now, go straight to the airport and get on a flight we can be to Vegas by tomorrow morning. It's only Tuesday! If we get hitched tomorrow, we'll be back in time for dinner on Thursday!"

It was silent for a moment. "Okay," Rachel agreed, "but do you really think my dads are going to let you back into this house after what they just found out AND after we run out and get married."

"Rach," Angie heard him say, "do you really think that they'll make their daughter and her newly wedded husband leave their home on Thanksgiving? What I did was a mistake; they should give me another chance, just like you did."

"I guess." Rachel said.

"Shit!" Angie whispered outside the door. She ran off to go use the restroom, washed her hands, and ran back down the stairs as fast as she could; but she was too late.

"Where are Rachel and Jason?" She said hectically. Judy sat beside Quinn, cuddling her sobbing daughter.

"They just left." Hiram said.

"I could kill that boy right now." Leroy said, "He broke my daughter AND my favorite lamp."

"Do you people have any idea where he's taking her?" Angie yelled desperately.

Quinn looked up with tired, red, puffy eyes. "Where?" She asked.

"They're going to Vegas!" Angie said, "I heard them talking through Rachel's door! They're going to get married!"

Hiram, Leroy, and Judy gasped. Quinn jumped up and ran out the door. The others ran behind her as she ran down the street searching for Rachel's car, but it was already out of sight. The blonde stood in the middle of the street in the trickling rain, looking up at the sky. Her mother, Angie, and the Berry men stood on the front lawn of the house, silently watching Quinn as she broke down.

Quinn cried like she'd never cried before and pleaded to the sky. "Why are you doing this to me?" she asked god, "Have I not earned Rachel yet? What do I have to do to prove to you that I deserve her?"

Nothing; the street was silent. There was no one talking back to her, not even her friends and family. Quinn felt alone, she collapsed in the middle of the street and sat on the pavement. She wasn't covered in bruises, or scars, or stitches. She didn't have casts or braces. Nobody could see the pain she was in. Quinn just felt tired. She wanted to give up, to just sit in the middle of that rainy street and wait for Rachel to return just to be beat up even more.

Suddenly, the rain got heavier. It soaked Quinn as she sat on the cold street, and she could barely feel her toes. She felt odd; usually when the rain started pouring in movies, that was when the hero gave up. But Quinn on the other hand, felt refreshed as she remembered the words of the wisest man she'd ever met- _"Life is never fair. The people who get what they want are either extremely lucky or they simply take what they want. Well, Ms. Fabray, I hate to say it but you are certainly not lucky, so it looks like you are going to have to just take her."_

"I'm going to have to just take her." Quinn whispered to herself. She stood up from her place in the middle of the street and returned to the house with renewed faith. Her mother, Angelina, and Rachel's fathers had returned to the living room when the rain started to pour, and they looked at Quinn sympathetically as she returned to them.

"I'm so sorry-" Judy began, but Quinn just simply held up her hand to stop her.

"Don't." Quinn said, "I don't want to hear anyone tell me sorry anymore. I want to hear you all congratulate me when I get her back."

Angelina smiled at her. "That's my girl!" She said proudly.

"I have a plan," Quinn said, "It's going to require a lot of help, and a lot of luck, but I think we can do it."


	10. The Last Goodbye Part I

_**I didn't want to lose you, leave you with a broken heart,**_

_**But wherever we are, we're miles apart,**_

_**I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye.**_

After a few phone calls and lots of begging, Quinn, Angelina, Judy, Hiram, and Leroy were on their way to Dayton.

"JUDY!" Leroy screamed from the passenger's seat, "Slow down before you kill us all!"

"I'm only going 65!" Judy screamed back.

"This is a school zone!" Leroy retorted.

"Can everyone just PLEASE calm down?" Quinn yelled over them all.

The car was silent for a moment before Hiram began to hum and sing.

_"We're, gooooooing to the chapel and we're gooooooonna get Rachel._

_We're gooooooing to the chapel and we're goooooooona get our daughter!_

_Gee, she really loves him but she needs to marry Quinn,_

_Going to the chapel of gays!"_

"Hiram," Leroy said as he turned around to face his husband sitting in the back seat, "if you do not stop singing I will take the loafer off of my foot and promptly shove it into your mouth."

Angelina burst into laughter and looked at Quinn seriously. "This family is amazing." She said, "When you and Rachel get married, can you please adopt me."

Quinn shook her head and laughed, but she couldn't deny it- she loved the family too.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Mr. Berry. There are no more tickets left on the next flight, and the soonest available flight we have is set to take off at 8 am." The woman at the airport counter said.

Hiram slammed his fist on the table. "God damn it!" he said in frustration, "Are you sure that there are absolutely no seats on the flight that leaves in twenty minutes?" Quinn anxiously looked at her phone; it was already 1:10, and she was hoping Rachel and Jason still hadn't left yet.

"Look, I'm very sorry but there is no way I can help you." The woman said, "If you'd like to purchase tickets for the next flight, feel free; but I can guarantee you aren't getting on that 1:30 flight.

Hiram slammed his fist on the counter once again, hoping to intimidate the woman. "I don't think you understand," he said, "Three and a half of the five of us are gay. Not providing us with the tickets would be considered a hate-crime, and you would have a law suit on your hands then ma'am!"

"Hiram," Leroy said and grabbed his husband by the arm, "calm down. Let's go sit and figure this out."

Their rag-tag group sat down and contemplated. "How are we going to get on a flight this late in the game?" Judy thought.

Leroy began to cry. "Oh, Hiram." He said, "Our baby is about to get married to a bad man in Las Vegas. Where did we go wrong?"

"Hiram, we brought our daughter up right. She's just being a stupid kid." Hiram said.

An elderly couple at the end of the row of seats they were sitting in glanced down at the sobbing man. "Excuse me," the old gentleman said, "did you just say your daughter is going off to Vegas to get married?"

"Yes," Hiram said ashamedly, "you heard right."

The elderly woman looked at crying Leroy sympathetically. "I know how you're feeling." She said to him, "Our daughter did the same thing when she turned twenty one years old. She ran off with her boyfriend James, and never came back. One day ten years later, we got a call from her; she was married to her boyfriend, they had four kids, she was a stripper, and he was a clown at Circus Circus." The woman shook her head. "It's a shame," she said, "our Regina was a beautiful dancer without the pole. She even danced in New York."

The Berry men looked at each other with desperation. "Sounds a lot like our Rachel." Hiram said.

The elderly man and woman looked at each other as if silently discussing something. The old woman nodded to the old man, who turned back to the sullen group. "We were actually on our way to visit Regina," the old man said, "we have two tickets for the next flight at 1:30, but we could wait until the flight after that if you wanted to take the tickets."

Quinn's face lit up and her spirits lifted. It felt like her heart was going to burst out of her chest. Could the plan really be back in action?

"Really?" Hiram asked in awe as the older gentleman stood and handed the tickets to him.

"It'd be wrong if I didn't." the man said, "We couldn't save our daughter, but you can save yours."

Hiram stood up and shook the man's hand. "I can't thank you enough." He said as he shed a tear.

Quinn stood and stared at the tickets, she couldn't believe that they were real. Hiram handed the tickets to her and smiled. "It's up to you now, Ms. Fabray." Hiram said, "This is your destiny as well as it is Rachel's, who would you like to accompany you?"

Quinn looked around their small, tired group. Leroy and Judy were emotional messes, and Angelina was googling the location of the closest McDonalds in the airport. Then Quinn looked at strong Hiram, still full of fight just like her. "Mr. Berry," she asked, "would you go with me?"

He smiled at her sweetly. "Let's go get our girl."

* * *

Rachel and Jason waded through the crowds of the Dayton International Airport at one in the morning. Rachel almost lost him a few times because they weren't holding hands or even speaking for that matter. They entered the terminal and Jason offered to carry her carry-on bag for her. Rachel smiled and let him.

They took their seats on the plane a few minutes later, and Rachel was tired. It had been a long day and it was almost midnight now. She rested her head up against Jason's shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Rachel's mind eased at his touch, and she felt more secure about her decision.

She closed her eyes and let her mind wander. Rachel thought about white dresses, flowers, and veils. All the wedding things she'd thought about in high school were coming back to her now, only this time she was missing a few key ingredients in the wedding formula. She had no bridesmaids, her fathers were home with no knowledge of her nuptials, and she had never even met Jason's parents. Most importantly, her best friend wasn't even there to kick her in the ass and tell her what she was doing was wrong.

Rachel clenched her eyes shut and hoped that she could push all the negative thoughts out of her head. Instead she thought about her new last name, and how it would look in lights. _Rachel Howe_. Rachel cringed; it didn't even have a ring to it. _Rachel Barbra Howe_. Ugh, Rachel thought, that's even worse. Her mind drifted elsewhere, to a part of her brain she liked to refer to as Quinnland. _Rachel Berry-Fabray_. Now that sounds right, Rachel thought and smiled. Or even _Rachel Barbra Fabray. _

Rachel drifted off into a peaceful sleep filled with dreams of weddings in beautiful places; sandy beaches, green vineyards, and ancient chapels with girls wearing white and men wearing black. All of the dreams had the same factor- Quinn.

Rachel woke the next day as the plane landed on the Las Vegas airstrip, her head still on Jason's shoulder. She quickly adjusted herself and pulled herself away from him. Her head still spun with visions of Quinn's perfect face and rung with wedding bells. _Oh my god,_ Rachel thought, _what the hell am I doing._

The two exited the plane and entered the airport, and even the airport screamed Vegas. Even under the current conflicting circumstances, Rachel couldn't contain her excitement. She'd never been to Vegas before, and neither had Jason. They both acted like children running around the airport with their few belongings, admiring the slot machines and bright flashing lights.

Jason finally grabbed Rachel's hands and looked her seriously in the eye. "Let's get married right now." He said, "I've never been so in love in my life."

Rachel floundered, looking for any excuse to stall another hour. "And I've never been so hungry in my life!" Rachel said and chuckled nervously, "Can we go get something to eat and maybe see the strip first? It's only six thirty in the morning now! We have plenty of time!"

Jason nodded. "Okay," he agreed, "I guess we do have time."

* * *

Quinn and Hiram ran out of the terminal and sped through the airport. They needed to get to the strip as quickly as possible to make sure that everything was perfectly in place. Quinn called Kurt, who answered after only a few moments.

"You rang, Ms. Fabray?" he answered sassily.

"Kurt!" she said anxiously, "Is everything set up? Is you-know-who on board?"

"Yes, dear. Do me a favor and take a deep breath." He said and Quinn did as she was told. "Good." Kurt said, "Now, you-know-who is most certainly willing to help; in fact she's more than happy to, she loves the drama of it all. She says she's interested in the saga of Quinn and Rachel and after all this is over she says you must tell her all about it."

"Good!" Quinn said, "Exceptional! Great! Is everything else set up?"

"I talked to my guys, and they talked to their guys, and those guys talked to the guys at the Stardust! They told me that everything is set up and boy does it look spectacular! Rachel isn't going to know what hit her!"

Quinn thanked him quickly and hung up. "Okay," she said to Hiram, "everything is ready. As long as Rachel heads to the Stardust, everything is going to work out."

"Trust me," Hiram said, "I know my daughter. She won't be able to resist seeing her name up in lights."

* * *

"This has to be a mistake." Rachel said as she stood outside the Stardust hotel and casino with Jason.

"If it's a mistake, then that's a pretty cool misprint." He said.

Rachel's heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. She didn't know whether she was going to scream in joy or terror. She didn't know if she would faint from happiness or faint out of anxiety. But most of all, she just couldn't believe her eyes. She rubbed her tired eyes and looked up at the flashing lights of the monitor once again, just to make sure it was real.

_**Stardust Hotel and Casino presents…**_

**Barbra Streisand**

_**and**_

**Rachel Berry**

_**One night only! Tickets available online or at the box office.**_

"I have to go inside and see what is going on." Rachel said frantically as she walked towards the main entrance of the Stardust. Jason trailed behind like a lost puppy; unsure what to do or where he should go, because he surely wasn't wanted at Rachel's side.

Rachel shyly walked up to the front desk, intimidated by the buildings grandeur. "Hello," she said to the clean cut gentleman behind the desk, "I'm Rachel Berry and I believe that your sign outside is malfunctioning. My name is up there next to Barbra's"

"No," he said and smiled, "it's not malfunctioning. You are performing with Barbra tonight, right?"

Rachel's eyes widened and she stuttered. "Yes, she is." A voice came from behind Rachel and answered for her.

"Kurt?" Rachel said in disbelief.

"Come here, you stubborn little thing, you!" the boy said. Rachel ran to her friend and embraced him.

"Look at you!" she said in awe, "You look amazing!"

"And YOU look like crap!" he replied. Rachel frowned and looked down at her mismatched outfit. "Of course, it might just be the hideous accessory you brought with you." Kurt said and gave Jason a dirty look.

"I don't understand," Jason said angrily and confused, "what's going on Rachel."

Kurt clapped twice. "Oh boys!" he said. About ten security guards dressed in Stardust attire lurked towards Jason.

"You'll be coming with us now sir." One of the security guards said in an eerily deep voice.

"Hell no!" Jason said, his stature looking unimpressive compared to the hulking men around him. "I'm not going with you, I didn't do anything!"

"We received a tip from some of our gambling staff that a man, who they described to look exactly like you, was counting cards."

"WHAT?" Jason said, appalled and frightened at the same time, "But I haven't even gambled yet!"

The guards got a grip of his shoulders and walked him off to a room marked "PRIVATE."

Rachel watched the scene fold out before her and she felt like she felt like everything was falling into place and none of it made sense.

"Kurt, what is going on?" she asked, "This can't be real. Seriously, where is Ashton Kutcher? Am I being Punk'd?"

"No, sweetie," Kurt said kindly and took Rachel's hand, "you're being saved. Let's go."

He began dragging her off towards elevators, and Rachel dragged her feet. "Wait," she said, "I still have questions!"

"Which will be answered as soon as we get you to my make-up artists!" he said impatiently, "Do you really think I'm letting you go on stage or meet Barbra looking like this?"

Rachel stopped dead in her tracks. "Am I really going to sing with Barbra tonight?"

Kurt smiled. "Yep," he said, "just like when she sang with Judy Garland."

Rachel stuttered. "You mean…I'm going to be Barbra's Judy?" She asked breathlessly, and Kurt nodded. "Mr. Hummel," she said trying to compose herself, "escort me to make-up please."

* * *

The burly security guards pushed Jason into the private room and sat him down at a steel chair in front of a steel table, both bolted to the floor. One of the security guards pulled out a pair of handcuffs and braced Jason's right hand to the table.

"What the hell?" He said, "Are you high, I haven't done shit!"

The men laughed at him. "We know you haven't." One of the men said.

"Then why am I here?" Jason asked, terrified. The men didn't reply, they simply walked out of the room leaving him alone and fretting. They all let him sit and sweat for ten minutes before the door slowly opened again.

Jason laughed as Quinn walked in the room followed by Hiram. "Seriously?" he asked, "a little girl and an old man? This is a joke, right? Send back in the security guards if you want me to be intimidated!"

Quinn walked up to the table calmly and sat on the edge, and Hiram stood by her side. Hiram crossed his arms across his chest and smiled at the boy. "What's wrong, son?" he asked, "Are you projecting your anger because you're little plans to marry my daughter fell through?"

"I-" Jason started, but Quinn cut him off quickly by punching him right in his square jaw. He screamed, and Quinn shook her fist in pain as she spoke to him.

"No." She said sharply, "You only speak when I tell you to speak, and if you speak without me telling you that you can speak then I will punctually kick you in your baby making parts; got it?"

Jason gawked at Quinn and held his chin, but nodded in agreement.

"Good." Quinn said as she stood and began pacing the small dark room. She pulled a small folded up piece of paper out of her pocket. "So," she said as she unfolded the paper, "on the plane ride I was thinking about all the different ways I could torture you when I got to this stage of my plan. Unfortunately most of my ideas were either illegal or just inhumane; but, I did have one great idea! I made a list of all the things you've done wrong to Rachel, I'm going to read them off one by one and you are going to apologize for each thing. And also, Hiram and I are each going to punch you as hard as we can for every single one of these things. I have a list of 32 things. So 32 times two, that's 64, isn't it Hiram?"

"Why yes," Hiram agreed, "I believe it is! Actually, he got a little bonus before we even started so he gets 65!"

"Well then," Quinn said and took a step closer to the boy, "I hope you don't have any plans for the next hour or so, Jason. Because I don't think you're going to be going anywhere for a while."

* * *

Kurt smacked Rachel's hand away from the curlers in her hair as she tried to fidget with them. She sighed and blew the few stray strands of hair out of her eyes in frustration.

"Kurt, can you explain to me what exactly is going on now?" Rachel pleaded.

Kurt glanced around at all of the other staff of Barbra's who was perfecting Rachel's skin. "Can you guys give us a moment to talk?" he asked them and they cleared out of the room quickly. The boy sat on the plush sofa next to Rachel's arm chair in the suit. Her skin glowed a beautiful bronze, her lips were stained red, and her eyes were framed flawlessly by classic black eyeliner. Her eyelashes seemed to reach out forever and never stop, and her cheeks blushed a perfect pink color. Rachel's eyes seemed to glow in the vanity lights from the mirror in front of her, and even with her hair in curlers she looked like a perfected piece of art.

"You are so beautiful, you know that?" Kurt said dreamily, "I may have a bit of a girl-crush on you right now. It's no wonder Quinn loves you so much."

Rachel blushed and glanced down at her feet, gold nail polish on her toes still drying. "Do you mean that?" she asked sheepishly, "Sometimes I don't feel beautiful; but ever since I got here I've felt special, and different, and pretty."

"And you could feel that way all the time," Kurt said, "if you were with Quinn."

"But Quinn's not even here." Rachel said sadly.

"Well who do you think put all this together?" Kurt asked her.

Rachel's eyes shot up. "She did this?" she asked in amazement.

"Absolutely!" Kurt said, "Do you know what happened to me last night? I got a call from a hysterical Quinn Fabray at midnight telling me that you were on a plane here to get married to someone that wasn't her, and she was NOT okay with that. She told me that you are the love of her life, and she said that if she lost you she would have nothing to live for because you are her life. She begged me to talk to Barbra, to make her let you sing with her. It didn't take much convincing, Babs is a sap for romance. I told her all that you and Quinn had been through and how much you loved each other and she agreed to sing with you right then and there. She's got big plans too, big!"

Rachel smiled and shook her head. "I can't believe Quinn did all this just for me."

"Well believe it, sister." Kurt said, "You've got a good girl, don't let her slip away from you."

"Never again." Rachel said, "I'll never let her go again."

"Good." Kurt said, "I think it's time to get those curlers out of there. Sit still."

Kurt stood and began unraveling the loose brown curls. They fell around Rachel's face perfectly, and she gasped at her reflection when Kurt was finished.

"She looks like an angel." A voice said from behind them both.

"Oh!" Kurt said and hopped to the woman, "There you are Madame! Barbra, this is Ms. Rachel Berry. Rachel, you know who this is."

Rachel's heart felt like it was going to simply explode. She was face to face with her idol, the woman who'd been her inspiration since she was conceived, and she had just compared her to an angel. "B-b-b…Barbra?" Rachel stuttered. Rachel stood up out of respect for the woman. She didn't know what to do; should she curtsy? Bow? Get down on her knees and kiss Barbra's feet? Those all seemed too over the top, so Rachel just professionally shook the woman's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you." Rachel said, making quite an understatement of the current situation.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too," Barbra said and took Rachel's hand, "I've heard so much about you from young Kurt over here. He says you're quite the fan."

"I am." Rachel agreed.

"I also hear you have quite the pipes."

"So I have been told." Rachel said and blushed.

"Well," Barbra said, "I'm sure it will be an absolute pleasure to share the stage with you, my dear. I've got to say toodles for now, though. My make-up team beckons for me."

"Alright," Rachel said, "see you soon, Barbra."

"See you, Rachel." Barbra said and waved a quick goodbye. As soon as the door shut behind her, Barbra could hear the squealing coming from the room.

"That. Was. Amazing!" Rachel squealed as she jumped up and down.

"Oh! Rachel, don't jump too much! You're hair!" Kurt reminded her.

"Oops!" Rachel said and sat back down again, kicking her legs spastically. "I just can't contain myself! I just met Barbra FREAKING Streisand! I'm going to sing with her in a few hours!" Rachel glanced at the clock across the room and groaned. "It's only three in the afternoon! What time does the show start?"

"Eight o'clock tonight." Kurt replied as he sprayed and squirted all kinds of products into Rachel's hair to make it maintain it's perfection.

"That's five hours too long!" Rachel whined, "Can we at least go see the casinos or walk the strip? I've never been in Vegas until now and I only saw the strip for like twenty minutes!"

"Nope," Kurt denied her, "you aren't getting off that easily. We're not done here yet because you have a dress fitting to do!"

"Wait," Rachel said, "dress fitting? Why don't I just wear a dress that already fits?"

Kurt gasped. "For an occasion like this?" He asked, appalled. "No way. On top of calling me at the last minute to talk to Barbra, Quinn also requested that I give you the full celebrity treatment; and that means you get a custom made dress." The boy skipped to the closet excitedly. "I stayed up all night making this," he said proudly, "I legitimately haven't slept in over twenty four hours, but it's okay because there is a coffee pot in this hotel room!"

He held the dress behind his back, hiding it from Rachel as he walked back to her. "Are you ready?" He asked.

Rachel nodded excitedly and smiled. Her jaw dropped as Kurt held up the most gorgeous dress she'd ever seen in her entire life. It was strapless, floor-length dress with a simple design, but it was covered entirely in gold sequins.

"It's spectacular." Rachel said as she got choked up and started to cry.

"Rachel Berry don't you dare cry!" Kurt demanded, "Not after all the time we spent perfecting your make up today!"

Rachel's waterworks stopped in their tracks and she composed herself. "Thank you so much Kurt."

"Don't thank me, Rachel." He said. "Thank Quinn."

* * *

Rachel stood in the dark backstage as she listened to the crowd grow louder and larger. She took three deep breaths, as she always did before a performance to ensure she wouldn't faint on stage. Barbra walked up beside her, wearing an equally stunning dress. Hers was silver and knee length with long sleeves.  
"You look fantastic." Rachel said, still quite star-struck by the woman.

Barbra smiled. "Thanks sweetie." She said, "You look absolutely stunning. I'm sure Quinn will be proud."

Rachel shook her head. "She's not here."

"Oh I wouldn't be so sure of that." Barbra said. Rachel looked through the curtains and all around for the blonde girl. "Don't worry Rachel," she said, "She's here."

A whole new layer of nerves layered over Rachel's anxiety. "I'm so nervous."

"Don't be!" Barbra said, "You said you've performed both songs before?"

"Only a thousand times," Rachel said. "I've been singing Don't Rain on My Parade and Happy since I was able to speak."

Barbra laughed. "You're so ambitious. I adore it." She said, "No wonder she loves you. Do you love her?"

Rachel smiled and blushed. "More than I've ever loved anyone else in my entire life. Probably more than anyone has ever loved anyone else in the history of love, actually. I'm just scared that I'll disappoint her, she's way out of my league as it is. She's much too good for someone like me."

Barbra scoffed at that. "Nobody is ever too good for anyone else," she said, "people are just people, babe. Deal with it."

Rachel nodded, she finally understood. "Thank you." She said to Barbra.

"No time to thank me." Barbra said as the lights in the theater dimmed, "It's show time."

Rachel took another three deep breaths as Barbra took the stage. The crowd went wild as the simple spotlight lit Barbra in the gorgeous dress that Kurt designed. The orchestra began playing My Man, and Rachel mouthed the words from her place backstage in the wing. Barbra's glorious belting out of the notes gave Rachel the chills, and her eyes began to water. She couldn't believe where she was and who she was with. She couldn't believe that Quinn had put all this together for her. She didn't know where Quinn was at or what she was doing; but Rachel only hoped that she was in the building somewhere, anxiously anticipating her performance.

Barbra belted out the last few words of the song and the crowd went crazy. The woman looked off the stage to Rachel and smiled. The crowd quieted down as Barbra began to speak.

"Hello Vegas!" She said to the crowd, "I hope you all don't mind, I'm doing things a little bit differently tonight. You see, I have a special guest tonight; a very talented, beautiful, special young lady. Her name is Rachel Berry; let's give her a loud Vegas welcome!" The crowd cheered, and Rachel knew that was her cue. She stepped out onto the stage and into the spotlight and the audience automatically cheered louder. Rachel blushed and looked around humbly, but confidently. The familiar intro of Happy days Are Here Again/Get Happy began, and Rachel stood beside Barbra who grabbed her hand. Rachel looked at the two of their hands together and her eyes lit up. Barbra smiled at the girl and looked out at the crowd as she began singing.

"Forget your troubles."

"_Happy days."_

"Come on get happy."

"_Are here again."_

"You'd better chase all your cares away."

"_The skies above are clear."_

"Shout hallelujah."

"_So let's sing a song."_

"Come on get happy."

"_Of cheer again."_

"Get ready for the judgment day."

"_Happy days are here again."_

Barbra nudged Rachel, and then nodded off stage. Rachel followed her glance and saw a face in the wing and she couldn't believe her eyes. Quinn stood in front of Hiram holding a bouquet of roses with tears in her eyes, but Rachel had never seen the girl look so happy.

"The sun is shining, come on get happy."

"_Shout it now."_

"The lord is waiting to take your hand."

"_There is no one who can doubt it now."_

"Shout hallelujah."

"_So let's tell the world."_

"Come on get happy."

"_About it now. Happy days are here again."_

Rachel caught out of the corner of her eye, her father taking a video from back stage on his cell phone, and she couldn't help but smile. She couldn't help but think that the song was perfect for how she was feeling at the moment. Rachel and Barbra finished off the song, and they killed it. The audience roared and begged for more, and they got exactly what they wanted. The orchestra began playing Don't Rain on My Parade and Rachel's adrenaline was pumping.

"I'm gonna let you take this one, kiddo!" Barbra said and Rachel's eyes protruded, but she smiled and took a breath. She knew this song like the back of her hand, and she was about to own it in front of _the_ woman herself. Rachel strutted around the stage, like she did in class that first day she sang Dance 10, Looks 3. The audience loved it.

"Don't tell me not to live just sit and putter!

Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter!

Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!

Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to!

If someone takes a spill it's me and not you!

Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade!"

Rachel looked furiously around the audience, then ran up to the band.

"I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum!

And if I'm fanned out,

You'll turn at bat sir,

At least I didn't fake it, hat sir,

I guess I didn't make it

But whether I'm the rose

Of sheer perfection,

Or freckle on the nose

Of life's complexion,

The cinder or the shiny apple of its eye,

I gotta fly once,

I gotta try once,

Only can die once, right, sir?

Ooh, life is juicy,

Juicy, and you see

I gotta have my bite, sir!"

Rachel glanced off the stage into the wing to see Quinn's bright smile practically lighting up the dark. Rachel smiled back and winked at her with the next line.

"Get ready for me, love,

cause I'm a commer,

I simply gotta march,

My heart's a drummer.

Don't bring around a cloud

To rain on my parade!"

Rachel hopped off the stage, and the spotlight followed her; she ran around the isles in front of the audience and sang right to them, and they just ate it up.

"I'm gonna live and live now,

Get what I want-I know how,

One roll for the whole show bang,

One throw, that bell will go clang,

Eye on the target and wham

One shot, one gun shot, and BAM

Hey, Mister Arnstein,

Here I am!"

The crowd went crazy as Rachel held the note and ran up to the conductor and grabbed his baton. She continued singing as she waved the thing around crazily, luckily the band knew the song well enough to not need constant conduction.

"I'll march my band out,

I will beat my drum,

And if I'm fanned out,

Your turn at bat, sir,

At least I didn't fake it.

Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it."

She tossed the baton back to the conductor and ran up to the stage once again as the crowd cheered.

"Get ready for me, love,

'cause I'm a commer,

I simply gotta march,

My heart's a drummer.

Nobody, no, nobody

Is gonna rain on my parade!"

Rachel took a deep breath, and smiled widely at the audience. "Thank you, Las Vegas!" she said breathlessly, and the audience went insane. Every person in the room was on their feet applauding Rachel, including Barbra. It was the standing ovation she only thought she would have dreams about. Screw Kurt, Rachel thought as she let the tears stream down her face finally. She couldn't contain her joy. Barbra stepped to her side on the stage and smiled.

"Ladies and gentlemen," she said, "Ms. Rachel Berry!" The crowd roared again. "Do you hear that?" Barbra whispered to Rachel, "They aren't cheering for me, they're cheering for you."

Rachel threw her arms around the woman and hugged her hero. Barbra smiled and gladly accepted the embrace. The crowd roared even louder in anticipation of what would happen next. Barbra looked over Rachel's shoulder and chuckled. "It looks like someone else is dying to hug you." She said.

Rachel broke away from Barbra and turned around to see Quinn clutching the roses, cheering louder than anyone else, tears also streaming down her face in joy. Rachel looked back to Barbra, then back at Quinn, then back to Barbra again. "Go to her." Barbra said and nudged her towards Quinn.

Rachel gladly did so. She ran off stage and into Quinn's arms, not caring what flowers she squished or ribs she cracked in the process; she just wanted to be back in Quinn's arms. "I'm sorry I've been so stupid!' She cried.

"No," Quinn said as she held Rachel, "I'm sorry I've been so stupid."

"No," Hiram interrupted, "no more sorry's. You've both been stupid."

Rachel reluctantly broke the embrace with Quinn and went to her father. "Dad," she said, "I'm so sor-"

"Rachel Barbra Berry," he stopped her, "I just said no more sorry's." Hiram held his arms open and his daughter threw herself around him.

"I love you dad." She said as she held him.

"I love you too, dear." He said. Quinn just watched as two of her favorite people in the whole world shared this special moment. She couldn't help but smile at them and join in on the hug. "Aw, get in here Quinn!" Hiram said as he pulled her into the hug too.

"I love you, Quinn Fabray." Rachel whispered to the girl of her dreams.

"I love you more, Rachel Berry." Quinn said back as the three broke their embrace.

"I highly doubt that." Rachel teased and wrapped her arms around the girl's neck.

Quinn smiled back and kissed her on the cheek. Rachel shook her head. "No," she said, "this is one of those times where I wish you'd kiss me on the lips." Quinn smiled widely and pressed her lips to Rachel's. Just then as if they were cheering for the kiss, the crowd went crazy.

"I could get used to this." Rachel said as she pulled away from Quinn's lips just barely so she could look into her favorite hazel eyes.

"Get used to what?" Quinn asked as she got lost in Rachel's beautiful brown eyes, "The applause or kissing me?"

Rachel smiled and gave Quinn another quick kiss. "Both."


	11. The Last Goodbye Part II

_**We were almost beautiful,**_

_**A broken piece of art put on display,**_

_**But we were never possible, another perfect moment thrown away.**_

Quinn and Rachel strode hand and hand through the giant lobby of the Stardust as Hiram led them out of the building. Rachel's heart felt light, and healed for the first time in years. She couldn't help but smile and squeeze the blonde's hand in hers. Rachel halted suddenly and stood on her tip-toes to kiss Quinn quickly.

"Come on you stragglers!" Hiram said as he hurried towards the door, "If we don't leave soon we won't be back in time for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! That will be the first time since Rachel's birth that I have missed the parade and that will not stand!"

The girls giggled and kept walking behind their flamboyant father figure, until they heard a gruff voice from behind. "Rachel!" Jason called, "What the hell is going on?!"

Both the girls and Hiram flipped around to look at the battered boy. Quinn stood in front of Rachel, but Rachel pushed her way through Quinn.

"Rachel!" Quinn said brokenheartedly, afraid that she'd return to his arms again. "Please don't!"

Rachel looked back at Quinn quickly with fire in her eyes; she walked towards her dumbfounded ex who attempted to grab her hand. Rachel pulled it away quickly, and let her right fist swiftly fly and land on his already bruising eye.

"I'm not letting you or anyone else push me around or beat me down ever again!" Rachel yelled as Jason placed his face in his hands. "And if you plan on trying to get near me again, I hope you're ready to go through my girlfriend first."

"Girlfriend?!" Jason spat, "You're leaving me for her?!"

"Yep." Rachel said bluntly, "It's funny; she's all woman, but she's more of a man than you'll ever be. Jason Howe, you are a pathetic excuse for a man, and I feel terrible for the next girl who is stupid enough to trust you like I did."

With that, Rachel quickly pivoted and stormed away from the boy and to Quinn's side once again. Quinn looked at her in awe. "That was extremely sexy." The blonde said as she stared at her newly confident girlfriend.

Rachel smiled in satisfaction. "I try." She said coyly. Quinn smirked and pulled the smaller girl in for a kiss, tangling her fingers through brown hair.

"Okay, lovebirds." Hiram said impatiently, "Need I remind you again of the parade?!"

* * *

The plane was silent; most of the passengers were asleep considering the late hour. Rachel lifted her head from Quinn's shoulder to check the time on her iPod playing lowly through the headphones they shared. Quinn stirred from her sleep and smiled drowsily at Rachel.

"I'm sorry," Rachel whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, don't be sorry." Quinn whispered back, "I actually had something to talk to you about."

Rachel looked at her girlfriend with concern as she slowly wrapped the headphones around her iPod and stuffed it into her carry-on bag. "Yes, Quinn?" She said, "What is it?"

Quinn grabbed Rachel's hands and laced their fingers together. "I just want to talk to you about what happened with Jason."

Rachel shook her head. "No," she said, "it was a dumb mistake."

Quinn squeezed the girls hand tighter, not letting the subject drop. "Rachel, everyone is worried about you." She said. "You stayed in an abusive relationship for such a long time that we think it may be best for you to see a professional."

"My therapist is not moving into the spare room again!" Rachel said frantically, squeezing Quinn's hand.

"No, no." Quinn said, "I didn't mean anything like that, I just think that you should maybe start talking to someone like that again."

"Oh," Rachel said and mulled it over, "I think you might be right."

"I only said something because I care. Your dad and I were talking it over and we think it's for the best." Quinn said.

Rachel sighed and snuggled into Quinn's side as best she could in the uncomfortable coach seats on the plane. "I know you care." Rachel said, "You care more than you should. I don't deserve the way you care about me."

"Yes you do. Don't say that, Rachel." Quinn said, "You deserve the world and more. I want to give you everything."

"But you deserve everything, too." Rachel said and her eyes began to water, "I'm not sure that I can give you everything."

Quinn smiled and kissed Rachel on the forehead. "Don't you fret, pretty little thing." Quinn said teasingly, "I have you, and you are my everything. You've already given me everything."

"It's not enough," Rachel said and shook her head, "I'm going to make it up to you. I have to, or I'll never forgive myself for all the times I hurt you."

Quinn awoke as the plane landed. Rachel nudged her gently and smiled when she saw her favorite hazel eyes slowly open.

"Hi Sleeping Beauty," Rachel said, "are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" Quinn asked sleepily.

"The best Thanksgiving dinner you've ever had." Rachel said cheerily.

Rachel and Hiram strutted through the airport confidently, Quinn straggling groggily behind. They talked quietly and giggled, frequently glancing back at Quinn as they did so. Quinn knew something was up, and they were quite excited for whatever it was that they had planned. The blonde could have cared less; she was so tired that she was borderline delusional, and she was just so happy to be with Rachel that the two could have been taking her to Mars and she would have been pleased.

They made their way out to the front of the airport where Judy, Leroy, and Angie were waiting in the parked car expectantly. Leroy burst out of the passenger's side door at the sight of his baby girl and ran to her. Rachel cried and held him.

"Daddy," she sobbed into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry. I'll never run off like this again. I'm so sorry."

"No," Leroy said as he cried as well, "I'm sorry. I should have never trusted him. I feel like a failure as a father."

"You're not a failure." Rachel said as she let go of him and sniffled, "You're the best. People make mistakes, and they learn from them. I learned from this."

"Did Quinnie talk to you about maybe talking to someone about this ordeal?" He asked and took her hand.

"Yes," Rachel said as they walked back towards the car, "and I agreed that maybe that'd be for the best."

"Good." Leroy said as he opened the door for his daughter. Rachel daintily sat herself down in the backseat, and Quinn slid in beside her. The blonde put her arm around the brunette's shoulders and kissed her gently on the lips. Rachel let herself get carried away in the moment as her hand moved up to Quinn's chest.

"Hey," Leroy said still holding the car door open, "hands to yourselves."

Rachel giggled and reluctantly dropped her hand.

"Hot." Angie said from the seat next to them.

"Later, sweetie." Quinn whispered into Rachel's ear, "Later."

The ride home was blissfully silent. No words needed to be said, no songs needed to be sung; they all just enjoyed each other's company in peace and quiet. Quinn tilted her head in confusion as the car pulled into the full driveway of the Fabray household.

"Why are there so many cars here?" Quinn asked as her mother parked the car in the last remaining parking spot available.

Rachel smiled brightly. "Well remember when I said I'd make it up to you for all the times I may have hurt you?" She said and Quinn nodded understandingly, "Well, this isn't going to make up for everything, but it's a start."

The Berry men, Judy, Angie, and Rachel smiled happily as they walked up to the front door, but Quinn was still thrown.

"What's going on?" She asked and followed as Rachel led her into the house. The door opened and delicious scents flowed out in every direction. Quinn's stomach groaned in retaliation, and she realized how hungry she truly was.

She stepped inside to see a full house; Burt and Carol, Kurt and Blaine, Mercedes and Sam, Brittany and Santana, Mike and Tina, Will and Emma, Sue, Puck, and Artie. They were scattered around the living room, all smiling. The fireplace was blazing, and the Christmas music was blaring. Rachel, her fathers, and Judy thanked them all and greeted the guests. Quinn just stood in the doorway in awe; she hadn't seen any of them since graduation, except Kurt of course. From the corner of the room, a tall shadow immerged. Quinn gasped as the hulking man in the camouflage uniform approached Rachel. Finn Hudson dawned his army uniform, which he wore extremely well since he lost all his baby fat during boot camp.

"Hi Rachel." He said and goofily smiled, still the same awkward teenage boy on the inside.

"Hi Finn," Rachel said amazed as tears began to stream down her face, "I can't believe you made it."

"Home for the holidays, luckily." He said and smiled, holding his arms out to embrace the small girl. Rachel collapsed into his arms and cried. He wiped her tears away and stood back. "You look beautiful as ever, Rachel." He awkwardly leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, but she pulled away.

"No," Rachel said quietly, "that's not why I wanted you here. Finn, you're my first love and you'll always hold a special place in my heart; but I'm in love with someone else."

Finn looked up at Quinn knowingly, then back to Rachel. "Okay," he said and nodded, "Rachel I just want you to be happy. I love you, and I want what's best for you. If you're happy, I have no regrets."

"Thank you for understanding, Finn." She said and hugged him again.

He let her go, pain in his eyes. He nudged her towards Quinn playfully and smiled. "Go get her." He said.

Rachel returned to Quinn's side and grabbed her hand. Quinn looked at her, still stunned. "You put all this together?"

Rachel smiled brightly. "You know, airplane security isn't as secure as they claim it is. I texted quite a few people while you were asleep, and I wasn't thrown out of the plane with nothing but a parachute for using my phone."

Quinn wrapped her arms around the smaller girl. "You never fail to amaze me, Rachel Berry."

Rachel winked at Quinn and smirked. "Oh you have no idea." The small brunette turned to the crowd of people in the Fabray living room and smiled. "Can I have your attention, ladies and gentleman?"

Everyone turned to look at Rachel as she continued speaking. Quinn felt the smaller hand begin to tremble as Rachel laced their fingers together between them.

"As you all know by now, Quinn has been madly in love with me for some years now." Rachel said, her voice shaking, "I had no idea until recently, but I am madly in love with her too. I've been stupid, and I've let her slip away too many times; but I won't let her slip away ever again. I've been through a lot, I've been very stubborn, but sometimes it just takes a hard fall to know where you stand. I know where I stand now, and where I stand is right beside the most beautiful woman I've ever met in my entire life. I've never felt so cared about or loved in my whole life until I ended up in her arms. Now, she couldn't get rid of me if she wanted to. I know she'd never want to, though; we're both ready to spend the rest of our lives together. For that reason, I'd like to take a moment to ask you something Quinn." Rachel stuck a shaky hand into her pocket and pulled out a silver ring with a small diamond in the center. It was simple, but beautiful. Rachel bent down to one knee and looked Quinn in the eyes. She took the blondes left hand and kissed it as she slid the ring onto her finger. "Lucy Quinn Fabray, will you marry me?" Rachel asked, and Quinn lost her breath. "I promise to always love and care for you. I promise to keep you safe and healthy. I promise to make you watch Funny Girl no more than once a day. I promise to-"

Quinn cut her off, pulling the girl to her feet and sweeping her up into a kiss.

"I'm going to take that as a yes?" Rachel said breathlessly as she pulled away from Quinn. Everyone in the room cheered as Quinn nodded yes.

"Yes Rachel," Quinn said, eyes filling with tears as the widest smile spread across her face, "yes I will marry you."


End file.
